If Time Could Stop
by JustLu
Summary: Hermione wants to save people. She's just weird that way. Rated T because I always rate T. No mature content.
1. Chapter 1

If Time Could Stop

Chapter 1-Prologue

Another violent explosion forced them back to reality. The three of them couldn't stand about for long; they had to get back and throw themselves in the battle once more. Although they had wished it away a million times, the war wasn't over. And neither was their part in it. Harry was the first to make a move.

"Right... Let's go then."he said and headed to the door, vial in hand.

Hermione's brain agreed but something inside her, held her into place. It took her only a few seconds to process the feeling in her gut and even if time was of the essence, even if it would mean that acting on her impulse would stall them, she couldn't help but point her wand to Severus Snape, whisper "Congelasco Tempus" and watch as a pale, blue light momentarily covered his body. Harry gasped and Ron didn't say anything, as he hadn't heard of that spell before, but still managed to look annoyed. She didn't know what made her use this spell- she wasn't even sure it was going to work. But it was done.

"What are you doing, Hermione? Are you really trying to save him?" Harry questioned and pulled her by the arm.

"Yes, yes, I am!" she said. For a moment, she saw herself through Harry's eyes and imagined she did look a little crazy; covered in dirt, blood and with her hair flying around her face, she mustn't have been a pretty picture. She felt the fire in her veins as adrenaline shot through her once more.

"But it's Severus Snape! The man who killed Dumbledore!"he screamed at her and squeezed her arm a little too hard. Hermione pulled her arm and took a step back.

"And since when are you judge and jury, Harry?"she yelled, her eyes full of anger. "Since when do you dictate who gets to live?"

If Hermione wanted to be honest, she wasn't convinced herself that Snape deserved to be saved. Harry was right. On top of being a cruel and mean individual, making their school years as uncomfortable as possible, he was also a Death Eater. And Harry had witnessed him killing Albus Dumbledore. But she was also not convinced about whether he did it because he simply wanted to, or because he had been forced. She couldn't believe that Dumbledore's trust in him, all those years, had been misguided. Snape was a professor at Hogwart's, after all! He couldn't be so bad, he simply couldn't! And besides, it was her deep belief, that in a war every life was sacred.

"Fine, then." Harry gave up. "I'm going back to the castle. Whatever is in his memories, he probably wanted me to see it as soon as possible. Ron?"he turned to his friend. Ron shook his head in agreement.

"I'm going back too, Hermione... My family's in there!"Ron told her, hoping that she'd change her mind. All the better, Hermione thought and assured them, she'd be with them shortly. The boys took to running, as soon as another explosion was heard.

Congelasco Tempus... Who would have thought that it would work? Hermione approached Snape's corpse-no, he wasn't dead just yet. He couldn't be... She put her hand over his mouth but felt no breath. Agitated, she pulled her hair back and placed her head on his chest. A heartbeat, slow and weak, but a heartbeat nonetheless! It was there and it meant he might be saved still. His eyes were still open, which gave her an eerie feeling but she tried to dismiss it.

"Alright, Professor... You'd better be worth my time..."she said and hoped he could listen. "I obviously can't take you to the castle. I believe they have their hands full there, at the moment."

Her voice became squeaky and she scolded herself. No time for tears! Think, Hermione, think... Saint Mungo's... Yes, they'd be able to help him there.

"But how do I take you to them? No floo network here, that's for sure. Apparating, yes?"she asked him, not really expecting an answer. She couldn't look away from his eyes. Unmoving, open, dead... The tears she had been forcing back suddenly flooded her eyes.

"You can't die now, you hear me? You can't do this to me! I've been through too much, do you understand? You **will **survive this! You just have to!"she told the man lying in her arms, looking dead as could be. "Apparating it is and don't you dare splinch on me!"she threatened. She tried to focus her mind, Saint Mungo's clear as daylight behind her closed eyelids. Saint Mungo's, Saint Mungo's, Saint Mungo's...

A loud crack was heard. Hermione opened her eyes. She looked down at Severus Snape; he looked so pale, covered in his own blood but otherwise, unharmed by the means of transport. For a mere second, she let out a sigh of relief, before she remembered why he had to be brought here in the first place. She looked around. For a hospital, it looked very empty. There was no one in sight, not a living soul. She thought about leaving him there and running to fetch someone but her hands wouldn't let go. She didn't want to leave him alone...

"SOMEBODY, HELP US!" Hermione's scream echoed in the empty corridor.


	2. Chapter 2

**If Time Could Stop**

**Chapter 2**

Everything was a blur. Everything and everyone. Hermione could barely remember how she got back at Hogwarts within half an hour from her departure. Dead bodies lay everywhere she looked and spells were being cast in every direction. She looked around for Harry. He was nowhere to be seen. Ron, she thought then. She had to get to Ron. She charged for the castle, casting a protective spell to anyone who seemed like they needed it and some offensive to anyone who was asking for it. It looked bad, for the good guys. They were outnumbered and hurt. Devastated. She shook her head; there was no room for negative thoughts. She had to hold her head up high and cause as much damage as she could.

Just a few steps away, she noticed Ron. He looked tired but he was fighting all the same. She watched as he pushed a child behind him and took over his opponent. So brave, Ronald Weasley was! She rushed to his side and finished off the anonymous Death Eater Ron had been fighting. His eyes didn't stop surveying the area for the next threat that would come but he managed to throw her a relieved smile. "Glad to see you made it" he said and handed her the child, to escort back inside the castle, no doubt. "Where is Harry?" she asked him and started to worry when he shook his head and admitted, he had absolutely no idea. After those brief words, she didn't allow herself time to think about anything else. Her mind had to be focused on the task at hand; protect the students. And as for the Death Eaters? Give them hell!

And then, when Voldemort had come forth, with his followers and Hagrid, carrying Harry's body in his arms, she thought she would collapse. There was no way all that could be real! Instantly, she started blaming herself. Thinking about the last thing she said to him. The way she abandoned him when she knew-damn it, she knew!- that Ron and herself were all Harry had... She shouted his name out but he didn't even move. Everything they went through in order to defeat Voldemort, it didn't mean a thing... She grabbed Ron's shoulder for support. He looked equally shocked when he placed his arm around her and held her tightly.

After Neville managed to kill Nagini, she felt they might still have a chance and she went on, cursing and protecting and forgetting about her own pain, for Harry's sake. For Harry. To make Harry proud, even in his death. She heard Hagrid ask where Harry was and she apologised to him, quietly, that she couldn't worry about that...

At some point, in the midst of everything, she saw from the corner of her eye, Voldemort, aiming his wand at Mrs. Weasley and everything seemed to slow down, like in a dream, as she realised that he was going to kill her and Hermione felt so useless; her reflexes warned her she hadn't moved fast enough. And there was Harry, alive, protecting them all, once again! Of course, that seemed much more real than his death had! She sighed in relief but she knew it was not over yet.

Hearing Harry's speech, she registered the words "Snape was Dumbledore's" and told herself she had done well, to try and help the professor. She had been fair to him, not knowing the whole truth and still, risking everything for him. Had she done him any good? That remained to be seen. Then, Harry shouted _Expelliarmus_ and it was over. In the blink of an eye... The mighty Voldemort, defeated by such a simple word...Everyone shouted and laughed and hugged each other; she couldn't stop crying. Tears of joy and sorrow, all at once, because the price for their freedom was too great. But they were, finally, free. And she couldn't believe it!

* * *

><p>Harry tapped Hermione's shoulder and dragged her out of Snape's memories. Her face was white as a sheet and she was trembling. He shouldn't have shown her all this, right after the battle, he told himself. Maybe it was too much for her to handle. Then again, Hermione had always been much stronger than people thought.<p>

"So... I suppose, an apology is required."he told her.

Hermione shook her head. "I was unfair to you, as well, Harry. I didn't really believe the things I said, back there."she shuddered, remembering his-seemingly-lifeless body in Hagrid's arms. "And to tell you the truth, I acted foolishly. Snape could have been on Voldemort's side. I didn't know what I was doing..."

"Yeah but... If I know one thing, that is to always listen to you because you are always right!"he said with a smile.

"I could have been wrong though..."she argued.

"But you weren't. "Harry insisted. "Did he make it?"he asked, somewhat embarassed by his previous attitude.

"I have no idea..."Hermione whispered. "I left him with a couple of witches, back at Saint Mungo's. I explained all that had happened to them and then got here, as fast as I could. But he didn't seem well, Harry... " She didn't mention how she'd kissed his forehead before rushing out.

"I hope he's alright."he said. "I mean... It would be awful for him to die and never see what he's accomplished, right? If it wasn't for him, we'd probably still be fighting! Or worse..."

"Do you want to go and see him?"Hermione suggested.

"Shouldn't we wait for Ron?"Harry asked.

"Ron has other things on his mind right now."she told him and her heart sank. "He's grieving for his brother, I doubt he'd care much for Snape."

"I suppose... It wouldn't hurt to pop in and ask what happened. Even if the news may be bad, I want to know."he said and they apparated to Saint Mungo's together.

Hermione tried hard to remember at least one of the faces of the witches she had spoken with but it proved to be a challenging task. She must have been much more upset than she'd originally thought. She approached a desk and cleared her throat to draw the nurse's attention. The place was rather quiet, almost like a graveyard.

"Excuse me... Can someone inform us of Professor Snape's state?"she asked timidly.

"Severus Snape? Are you the one who brought him here?"the nurse asked, looking up from her papers.

Hermione had freshened up a bit, after the battle, so normally, no one could make the match between her and the wreck that she had been when she brought Snape in. Somehow, she felt she had to lie to the nurse. Maybe all those months of hiding and sneaking around had taken their toll on her.

"We are his students. We just came from Hogwarts to see if he was any better..."Harry took it upon him to answer.

"Well, he's in there."the nurse pointed to a closed door. "But I doubt he'll make it through the night, children. He was a real mess when that girl brought him in, screaming at us. How she managed to preform that spell on him, is a wonder! She was in a fit!"

Hermione bit her lip. The nurse continued.

"The poor man was bleeding from all sorts of places and what little blood he had left, was filled with poison! We did our best, I can assure you. But only time will tell. If you want to see him, go right ahead, just don't expect much. He's... unresponsive."she said and waved them off.

Harry took Hermione's hand and together, they walked to the door the nurse had pointed to. They both took a deep breath and opened it.

Severus Snape was lying in a bed which looked uncomfortable, to say the least. If it wasn't for his chest moving up and down slowly, Hermione would have thought him dead, for sure. He was more pale than usual and his closed eyelids were a disturbing shade of blue. His fingers twitched every now and then. But he was alive. The only thing that mattered was that he was alive. Hermione reminded herself to breathe. Had she expected him to be up and pacing? Of course not.

Harry approached the bed and looked down at the weak man.

"Listen up, Snape!"he said. "We won, alright? We won! And you were supposed to be there with us. So, stop this nonsense! I expect you to still be alive tomorrow and the day after and for many more years to come! Are we clear on that?"he told Snape and ran out of the room. Hermione went after him.

"I'm sorry, Hermione. I just... I can't look at him! He's not the Snape I know! He looks so small and defeated!"he explained.

"It's alright, Harry! Really, I understand. You're exhausted. We can do this another time, don't you worry!"she comforted him.

"What if there is no time? You heard what that nurse said! He might not survive the night!"

"I didn't go through all this trouble for nothing!"she smiled. "I bet he will still be here in the morning. He's nothing, if not stubborn, right? He'll be fine."she told Harry but she wasn't all that certain about the truth of her words. Harry seemed to cheer up a bit, though. And Hermione was glad she could help.

"Let me go in, just for a minute. Then, we can go home and rest. And we'll be back tomorrow."she said.

Hermione closed the door behind her, afraid that a view of Snape might make Harry depressed again. She looked around the room. For some reason, she thought a heart monitor, like the ones they use in muggle hospitals, would be so much comfort. Maybe, hearing the steady beating of his heart, would magically fix everything. She placed her hand on his chest, to feel the subtle movement. Close enough to comfort. Some of the sadness was lifted from her heart. She looked at Snape's face, bruised but peaceful and she sighed. You do look awfully small, don't you?she sent her thought to him. In her mind, she prayed to every saint she could remember from her muggle upbringing. Please, please, please, take care of him! Please, lead him back to us, she cried mentally.

Gradually, her breathing synchronised with his and it gave her a sense of closeness that they never would have had, had he been awake and healthy. Although highly inappropriate ,she felt no need to remove her hand from his body, especially now, that he couldn't remove any house points for indecency. She chuckled.

"Professor Snape"she begun. "You are safe now. No one can cause you any more harm. If you still don't want to stay with us, well, that's okay. You do whatever you want. You don't owe anyone anything... And we owe you so much..."she leaned down and kissed his forehead, the way she had earlier but this time, there was no hurry. She had all the time in the world. Her lips lingered there for a while. Feeling his temperature, she reasoned. Nothing more.

"I owe you everything. My best friends are alive due to your help. Thank you!"she whispered softly, in the space between his temple and his cheek.

"Harry will keep coming back, until you are out of this bed, so you'd better hurry up. Unless you want his company on a daily basis. Somehow, I don't think you do."she attempted a joke and felt a tear run down her nose. "I won't be coming back though. I can't be so cruel to myself... Harry is right. This is not you. You were always so strong and proud and it kills me to see you confined in this stupid bed, in this stupid hospital!"

Hermione removed her hand from his chest, at last, and walked back a few steps. She tried to contain her sobs to a minimum level, as she felt a spark of electricity run through her. She wasn't lying. In fact, she was determined to never look at him again. She had nothing but gratitude for the man-well, maybe a bit of affection. But it was too much for her. Deep down, she wanted him to bounce up, glare at her and tell her to stop her crying. He didn't move. She gave him a few more seconds. Nothing.

"I did my best."she told him in despair. "I did my absolute best, Severus Snape! I'll leave the rest to you. Do not dissapoint me!"

She couldn't bear the lack of response. She rubbed her eyes to stop the tears; she couldn't break down in front of Harry, she simply couldn't. Before opening the door to go back to a world that was alive and kicking, she stopped and took a long look at Severus Snape, the man who had been helping them all along. There was no change in his condition. Why would her words make any difference to him, she thought. He had always despised her.

Hermione said her silent-and final-goodbye and went to meet Harry outside.

**A/N: I try to thank everyone for their reviews but some of you have disabled private messaging****. So, THANK YOU! I keep your advice in mind.**

**(I hope everybody likes this so far!)**


	3. Chapter 3

**If Time Could Stop**

**Chapter 3**

Hermione's words proved to be nothing but the truth. She hadn't returned to Saint Mungo's, not even once in three weeks, whereas Harry, went back every single day. Sometimes late at night and others, early in the morning, due to his quite busy schedule, but he always made sure to visit Severus Snape, neglecting his own needs to tend to the professor. Providing money-of which he had more than enough- for Snape's treatment and of course, keeping him company. How much of it Snape understood was unclear to him but he had a great debt to repay. If what it took was going there, every day, for the rest of his life, that's what he would do! He asked Hermione to go with him a few times but there constantly seemed to be a reason fot her not to. A meeting at the Ministry, a task that couldn't be ignored, an appointment that couldn't be postponed. So he'd stopped asking, although it bothered him a little.

The nurses told Harry of some mild improvement in Snape's condition and assured him that the man was getting better. No improvement that he could see, of course. The one thing he noticed was that his cheeks had gotten a little on the pink side and that had to mean something. Harry wasn't going to be a fool and believe a change would come so soon. Nagini's poison was definitely a potent one, he had no doubt. For one, he was glad the professor had made it this far. He could wait. Oh, yes. He could wait. He was sure that, once awake, Snape would do nothing but insult him viciously and he would just have to enrage him even more by thanking him for his help and protection. Harry couldn't wait for the moment when Snape's jaw would drop in shock, while listening to all that he had to say. He smirked.

"Still here, my dear boy?"nurse Ellis noted his presence, adjusting the spells around Severus Snape.

"Same as yesterday." He smiled behind his glasses.

"Don't you have a life of your own?"she asked.

"Nothing too urgent to keep me from here."Harry responded and winked at her.

"You are a good one, you."she told him. "Coming here every day to keep him company..."

"Has no one else been here? All this time?"he wondered.

"Oh, yes! People come and go. But most of them come for the gossip, you know. Waiting for him to wake up and give them all the dirty details of his life as a spy. As if he'd do that..."she informed Harry. "Where is the screaming girl, I wonder? Has her interest in him faded?"

It wasn't Harry's responsibility to reveal the identity of the girl. If Hermione didn't want people to know, he would keep it a secret. And he wouldn't question her about it either. The reasons behind it, however, bothered him constantly.

"Did you ever think she might have died in the battle?"he told the nurse, just to make her feel uneasy. For someone who didn't approve of gossip, nurse Ellis certainly spent too much time talking about other people's lives.

"Oh my! Do you really think so? That would be awful!"she said with a gasp and straightened Snape's hair, out of his face. And Harry realised, it wasn't gossip she cared about. It was Snape's well-being. "That poor, poor man... He has no one to care for him..." she said and Harry felt embarassed. She was genuinely concerned as she looked at the unconscious man and her hand gently touched his, as though not to disturb his sleep.

"She seemed like she really loved him, you know..."she told Harry, with a sad look in her eyes. "The way she acted, it was heartbreaking, my boy! I know we all refer to her as 'the screaming girl', as if it is a joke but I don't feel that way. Every day, I wish she will walk through that door and head straight to him." Nurse Ellis wiped a tear from her wrinkled face.

"Really?" Harry was suddenly interested. "You were here that night, weren't you?

"Oh, yes. It was getting really bad, what with the attacks by Death Eaters and all. I spent a lot of time here. There was something stirring in the air and I hated the feeling that, very soon, we would have a lot of work to do. So I stayed a bit longer after my shift. Just as I was getting ready to head home, the news came that Hogwarts was under attack. Your old professor here, was the first one to be brought in. Quite fortunate, he was. Had she brought him in two hours later, we wouldn't have been able to give him the attention he needed."

"What happened?"Harry asked.

"I heard the sound of someone Apparating from the other side of the ward. It was a quiet night-it seemed like we were all holding our breaths- and it the crack was heard through the halls. The other nurses were making their rounds and I got up to see who it was. I took my sweet time, I regret to say... As I got closer, I heard someone scream. The sound tore my heart apart, dear child... It was urgent and hopeless. _Somebody, help us! Won't somebody, please, help?_ She was screaming, at the top of her lungs and I started running. By the time I got there, two other nurses were struggling to remove him"she stopped and glanced over at Snape, then she went on "from her hands but she wouldn't let go! She looked like she was about to faint herself and she was holdind on to him for dear life! She gave us a detailed report of what had occured; she wanted to make sure we knew what we were dealing with. She looked at me, straight into my eyes, she seemed half crazy, I tell you... _Did you hear everything I said? Do you understand?_ she asked me and I said yes, I heard you, loud and clear, every patient in the hospital heard you.! Only then did she relax her hold on him. She kissed his forehead and asked me to take care of him as the other nurses pulled him away. And then, she Disapparated."

The old nurse stopped talking. She turned to Severus Snape and patted his hand, the way a mother would. She turned to Harry once more, to finish her narration.

"If you could have seen her... She looked like a wild thing! Mud all over her face and clothes. But mostly, blood. She was soaked in it. So much blood on such a young, frail thing... Her eyes were ablaze! The things she must have seen... My heart weeps for her. And for him, this Severus Snape, the war hero... Do you really believe she's dead?"she asked Harry.

"Well, if what you say is true, if she really did love him, what could be holding her back?"he said and wondered whether the Hermione he once knew had really died in the war.

* * *

><p>"Harry, the Daily Prophet is having a blast with all the lies they've been publishing. Would you at least consider the possibility of letting me publish an official statement from you, for the Quibbler?"Luna asked in a very polite tone. So polite that Harry felt bad for denying her the favour.<p>

"I'm sorry, Luna, but I don't think it would be nice of me to talk about Professor Snape, behind his back, so to speak."

"I'm not asking you for his deepest, darkest secrets. Just a statement, from The-Boy-Who-Lived. Nothing too shameful, just a few words. It would mean a lot!"she eyed him hopefully, behind her large, fluorescent, orange sunglasses.

"How about this? Severus Snape is a true hero and he should be treated as such. No nosing in, let him have his privacy and no more annoying reporters, trying to sneak inside the hospital to snap a photo of him, while he's so ill."

"Can I quote you on that?"Luna asked, writing every word down.

"You most certainly can."he told her.

"Alright, then."She put her notepad out of sight. "How is he doing, Harry? Is it true he is finally awake?"

"He's awake, alright! And back to his former, obnoxious self!"Harry said and laughed.

"Thank goodness! I was starting to worry about him..."Luna said and Harry believed her.

"Don't tell him that! He hates that everybody is worried about him! I'm telling you, if his wand had been anywhere near him when he woke up, he would have cursed my head off!"

Luna giggled. "He wouldn't have."

"Oh, he definitely would have!"Harry smirked.

**A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you for your reviews and for adding me to your favourite authors and all that! You are amazing! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**If Time Could Stop**

**Chapter 4**

"Ron? What are you doing?"Harry asked his friend, as they strolled around Diagon Alley.

"Hmmm?"Ron looked up to Harry, his eyes stating that he'd been completely absent during their conversation. What passed for conversation these days, at least. It seemed that, apart from Harry, the other two members of the trio were having trouble adjusting to their new, normal lives. Hermione, the most.

"I was just thinking... You know..."Ron said.

"No, I don't know. I can't see inside your mind, Ron! I could try, but as we both know, I'm rubbish at that. What's happened to you? Since when are you so... contemplative?"Harry inquired.

"Since my brother died, I guess. Since I had to fight for my life. And other people's lives."Ron said absentmindedly.

Harry felt bad about his behaviour. He had all his life to get used to his parents' deaths and he still hadn't fully come to terms with that. Ron only had a few months. It was unfair of him to expect anything different.

"Sorry..."he said.

"It's fine."Ron answered. "Really, it comes and goes. I reckon I'll be just like I was before in a few weeks... Don't worry."

"Have you seen Hermione lately?"Harry asked him.

"Yeah, a couple of times. She tends to stay at home, most of the time. She's been a bit jumpy, in the past few days. Don't know what's wrong with her, though. She's the one that kept pushing me to stop avoiding life!" Ron gave him a sad smile.

"I don't think she's avoiding life. Most likely, she's avoiding the press."Harry defended her.

"That too. Can you believe that Rita Skeeter? The stupidest things, she writes, that one! But it's not like Hermione to avoid situations... Last time, she tried blackmailing that Skeeter woman; now, she sits behind closed curtains and hides." Ron shook his head dissapointedly. "Wish I could do something to help her..."

Once again, Harry thought about the screaming girl, nurse Ellis had described. Scared out of her wits, she had been, still she put up a fight. Where the hell was that girl now? What could he do to force back out, into the sun? Harry wanted the old Hermione returned back to him. He never told Ron about the nurse's story. It wouldn't do him any good. No matter how proud he'd been of Hermione's bravery, it wouldn't sit well with him to hear about her affection to another man. Even if it was innocent. Which Harry wasn't so sure about.

* * *

><p>Hermione closed the curtains again, making sure nobody could get a glimpse inside her house. Privacy had become a vague memory after the war. Still, having lost all hope of reconstructing the memories of her parents, she'd sold their old house and moved somewhere closer to Diagon Alley, closer to the magical world and the sense of familiarity it offered her. At first, she had toyed with the idea of leaving England altogether. But she didn't have the heart to do it. Wherever Ron went, she went. And Ron wasn't leaving. Had she stayed in her old house though, she'd be in constant pain. There were too many memories there. She took comfort in knowing that her parents couldn't remember her and therefore, couldn't be missing her. But she remembered. And she missed them so much.<p>

All she knew about professor Snape's health, came from that blasted Daily Prophet and she hadn't worked up the courage to ask Harry about him yet. He hadn't mentioned much and she didn't think it wise to try and squeeze information out of him. The need to know about Severus Snape was eating her away. She'd be damned to break her word and visit him! He probably would be going home soon though and visiting him there would be out of the question. She hoped that would put a stop to her stupid endeavours.

"Ex-Death Eater Proved to be Dumbledore's Spy", "Professor Snape throws vase at reporter's head" and such titles, appeared on the Prophet every day. They had managed to snap a picture of him, throwing said vase. His eyes glared at them and shined the way they'd used to. Hermione liked that. Her last memory of him was a particularly bad one. She was thrilled to see him attack someone. That could only mean he was getting better. Hermione wished a reporter would try to sneak up on Snape again, only to give him the opportunity to throw something heavier this time. It would, undoubtedly, do wonders for him!

"I will go into Auror training next month"Ron informed her. "You haven't changed your mind about joining, have you?"

"Oh, Ron! Not that again, please!"she rolled her eyes at him.

"I don't see anything wrong with wanting to have you close to me."

"You will! Of course you'll have me close! But becoming an Auror, is out of the question for me. And frankly, I don't understand why you are so set on becoming one either."she said.

"Because, when we were fighting... I felt good."he explained.

"You felt good?"Hermione shouted. "I can't believe my ears! You actually enjoyed it?"

"Well, not the war! Not the whole mess! The fact that I was protecting others! And the people I love, most of all!"he protested.

"That's very noble, Ron, really."she said and placed an arm around his shoulders, calming down. "But it's not for me. I only wanted to end it all. Protecting others, that was good. But I want to put it all behind me. Every time I close my eyes, those images come back to me and I forget to breathe." She took his face in her hands and looked deep in his eyes. "You are brave and good and you should do what's right for you!Just... don't ask me to follow you into that, Ron, please! I need to do something boring and mundane. Something that requires careful planning, filing reports... I'm thinking of accepting Mockridge's offer and start working at the Goblin Liaison Office. That sounds more like me, don't you think?"

Ron hugged her and buried his face in her hair.

"I'm just too scared, Hermione."he said softly.

"Of what?"

"Of losing you too."he admitted.

She squeezed him inside her arms, not caring of his very human and normal need for breath.

"I promise you, Ronald, I'm not going anywhere! No matter how far you go, or how far I go, we will always be together! There's nothing on this earth that can keep me away from you! Do you believe that?"

Ron broke away from her embrace. His fingers traced her cheek bone and stopped somewhere near her lips, his eyes fixed in hers.

"There's always death, Hermione."he told her, his voice deep and full of sorrow.

"No, dear. Not even that."she said before she kissed him. She meant every word.

* * *

><p>Harry escorted Severus Snape back to his house. He only thought it prudent; every magical reporter in England had been waiting for them, outside Saint Mungo's. Snape had raised his wand, ready to hex them all, <em>Sectumsempra<em> forming on his lips; with Harry's intervention, the day had been saved. He had no doubt Snape was really going to do it. And why shouldn't he, after all? Those pesky reporters had been bothering him the entire year that he'd been forced to remain in the hospital. Harry fought the laughter tickling his throat, since the moment Snape had reached for his wand. Back to his former self, alright.

"There you go, sir."he said as he left a small suitcase on the floor.

Snape groaned, having that hateful Potter inside his house was deeply annoying. At least, he was home. At last. Although, one could hardly call that place a home, having nowhere else he could go, it would have to do. For the time. He contemplated fleeing to Romania but he had been offered any teaching position he could care for in Hogwarts. They'd even offered to restore his Headmaster status. He had decided he'd resume his position as Potions Master, as soon as he felt up to it. Take as much time as you need, they'd told him. Being a war hero, definitely had its benefits.

"I suppose I should be thanking you, Potter."he said. "But I won't."

Harry couldn't feel offended by Snape. Not anymore. Instead, he laughed.

"I didn't expect you to, sir, to be honest. I love you just the way you are, you see. Rude and obnoxious."

Severus made a gagging sound.

"Love me? Please, Potter! I just got out of the hospital, don't make me go right back due to excessive vomitting!"

Harry laughed again. Despite his mean attitude, Severus Snape was a good person. Deep down. Deep, deep, deep down.

"Thanks are not required, anyway, sir. I only carried one tiny suitcase."Harry responded, unaffected by Snape's glares.

"I meant, for saving my life, Potter."Snape's eyes were dark as night. Suddenly, Harry felt... intimidated. The secret he had been keeping wasn't his to give away but those eyes could get you to confess anything, even when you didn't want to. A slip of the tongue was all it took.

"Errr... I didn't save your life, sir. I mean, it wasn't me that took you to Saint Mungo's."he mumbled.

"Who, then?" Severus was very surprised.

"Please, sir. Ask me anything but that!"he pleaded.

The panic in his voice only served to make Severus even more curious. Why would the identity of his saviour be such a big secret? He simply had to know, he had to, so he could find that person and confront them. If it wasn't the famous Harry Potter, saviour of all that walks the magical part of England, then who? His only friend and supporter had been killed by his own hand. Who would risk their own life in order to save Severus Snape? Who could be that much of an idiot?

"Yes, because I am so very interested in anything else you may have to say! Go on, Potter! Give me a name..."he asked, his eyes narrowing.

Harry gulped. That man had been protecting him for years. Providing assistance in spite of his dying to save him. He couldn't deny him anything. He wasn't asking for that much. A name. Just a name...

"Granger... Hermione Granger..."he confessed.

**A/N: I proof-read a million times and still, there's an "o" missing or some other mistake like that! I apologize! I take spelling very seriously and I want you to know that. **

**And once more, thank you!**


	5. Chapter 5

**If Time Could Stop**

**Chapter 5**

Right after Harry's hasty departure, Severus Snape stopped to think about the past year of his wretched life. He recalled looking into Potter's eyes, thinking those were his final moments, that he could finally abandon life and all the troubles came with it. He thought he was done for; the lack of any sense of physical pain confirmed that. He'd been prepared to welcome death. He couldn't even remember Granger being there! And if his memory served him well, the girl hated him. Despised and loathed him. What had transpired to make her come to his rescue? What caused her to suddenly become interested in him? And what gave her the right to step in and change the course of fate?

He was buffled. He was usually good at guessing the motives behind people's acts. Could it be that her insane and terribly annoying need for knowledge inspired an experiment in her, the moment he was but inches from death? That could, very well, be the reason. But she didn't visit him once, all the while he was a patient... Had it been an experiment of hers, she would have made her way to him, just to check the results. To take notes and satisfy her brain cells... He was certain she'd never visited... A whole year... She couldn't have kept away that long, if she'd really chosen him to be her lab rat...

He recounted the memories of his hospitalisation. Many visitors, every and each one of them annoying, but no Granger; not even a flicker of her image. He thought about nurse Ellis and her meddling nature. If anyone might have noticed, it would have been her.

* * *

><p>"If it isn't Severus Snape!"Nurse Ellis shot up from her chair. "Back here, so soon? Have you missed us terribly?"she offered him a kind smile and extended her hand to greet him. He didn't take it, naturally. She didn't seem to mind his rudeness.<p>

"Of course not! Do stop being silly."he told her.

"Then how can I help you, dear? You didn't forget anything in your room, did you? We didn't find anything..."

"I need... information, if you could be persuaded to keep this conversation between us."Severus growled.

"How menacing!"she giggled. "I'm not afraid of the sounds you can make with your throat, I assure you, dear."Her smile stayed intact. She had either been warned about Snape's temperament or she couldn't be scared easily. Maybe both. "Should we take this somewhere more private, then? It's something personal, I take it."

Severus was taken aback.

"If there is such a place available... I'd much rather we'd be undisturbed."he agreed.

Nurse Ellis got up and Severus followed her. She showed him inside a small office and once he'd been seated, she cast a couple of silencing charms at the door. Snape secretly admired her understanding of privacy. Bravo, old witch, he exclaimed inside his head.

"Now, what is it that you'd like to know, Severus?"she asked him, casually.

"I was told a certain girl brought me here, the night I got injured."he begun.

"Injured? Is that what you call it? Dear boy, you were seconds away from dying. I don't think that qualifies as an injury. A bloody mess, that's what you were!"

"Try not to interrupt me, woman!"he growled again. Nurse Ellis was unaffected by his bluntness but remained silent.

"I am trying to confirm her identity and decipher her motives."he said and motioned that it was her turn to speak.

"I don't believe she had any other motive than sincere and deep affection for you, my dear."the nurse scolded and told him the same story she'd told Harry.

Severus tried to listen without grimacing. Granger, screaming for help? Screaming for help to come to him? It was a story he couldn't believe. Sincere and deep affection? More like utter contempt! How could she care for him when all he'd ever done was insult and belittle her at every chance he got? Had the nurse been charmed to believe that was what had actually happened that night? He shook his head in disbelief.

"And you are sure she was crying? Could it be you mistaked laughter for crying?"he asked the old woman.

"You are a thick one, Severus Snape! What do you take me for? I may be old but I'm not senile! I can tell laughter apart from crying! Of course she was crying! The poor thing was out of control!"

"And she wouldn't let me go? People were pulling me away and she wouldn't hand me over?"Severus insisted.

"Yes! How many times do I have to tell you?"nurse Ellis rubbed her forehead. She hated being interrogated. Still, she felt sorry for the man. He must have been shown too little kindness in his life, if he couldn't believe someone cared for him. "Have you figured out who she was?"

"Yes..."he whispered and his eyes wandered around the room.

"Mr. Potter told me she is... presumed dead."That wasn't actually what Harry had said but she thought such a revelation might put some sense into Snape's head. Maybe if he thought he'd lost the girl, his saviour, he could allow himself to show some kind of emotion. Severus turned his head towards her, shock evident in his, priorly, merciless eyes. Potter hadn't mentioned whether Granger had survived the battle, had he? Was she dead? The smartest witch he'd ever met? Dead? Was that why Potter had been so reluctant to reveal her name? And was it grief setting in his heart upon hearing of her possible demise? No, he contradicted. It couldn't be.

"She never came back? After that night? Never?"he asked.

"No, dear. I'm sorry..."the old woman placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. He seemed too lost in thought to notice or he would have shoved it off. "Mr. Potter and a friend of his came the very next morning though. As soon as the battle was over. "

"Which friend?"he asked again, alarmed, grabbing her arm.

"I don't remember her name, to be honest. Or maybe she never told me... But she didn't come back either."nurse Ellis said.

Severus stared at her kind face and whispered _Legilimens._ The nurse's mind was a tangled web of patients and treatments and things she could say to ease someone's suffering. The love she radiated made him sick. There was too much of it. And it was too heavy for a person to carry. How had she survived this long?

He shuffled through memories and thoughts of other patients and stopped when he recognised himself. There he was, alright, in the arms of a very filthy and panicked Hermione Granger. He could tell who she was instantly but for someone else, it would have been hard to identify her. The old nurse was telling the truth. He looked very dead; the image didn't please him. Granger was crying and screaming at everyone that came close. Her tears were evident, clear as day, mixing with the mud on her face. It was painful to watch. Her fingers were nailed on him, her arms protectively wrapped around his body; she didn't let go until she'd made sure the nurses understood her instructions. Seeing it with his own eyes, he still couldn't comprehend why she'd kissed his forehead before leaving.

He searched for the memory of the morning after. Surely enough, there was Potter, holding Granger's small hand in his own, as if they were keeping each other from falling apart. Her cuts and bruises were fresh but having cleaned up and tamed her outrageous hair, she looked quite different from the... creature she'd been the night before. She was alive. At least, up to that moment, she had been. He watched as nurse Ellis asked her if she was the girl that brought him in. Even from a distance, he could tell the girl was lying. How could have the old witch missed that? There, she bit her lip!

The memory changed a little when Granger and Potter walked into his room. He supposed the nurse had stopped paying attention. Then, Potter rushed out, Granger right behind him. That got Ellis to look at them again. Hermione was whispering something comforting to Potter; she then left him standing there and went back in. She closed the door but not before he could get a glimpse of himself, lying in the hospital bed. He shivered. Severus saw nurse Ellis turn to Potter. "Are you alright, young man?"she asked and Potter nodded, silently. She kept looking at him, worrying and... there was something else... Something that hadn't registered in her mind but it was definitely there, in her memory. Muffled, of course, as though it was heard through a tunnel. In this instance, a closed door. "Harry will keep coming back, until you are out of this bed, so you'd better hurry up."She was warning him. She was providing him with a reason to wake up and get out of that place. She was urging him! Then... "I did my absolute best, Severus Snape!" and finally "Do not dissapoint me!"

Severus pulled back from the memory and out of the nurse's mind. She hadn't noticed anything, thankfully. For her, mere seconds had passed. She was still looking down to him, sympathetically. Great, now he was feeling guilty for having invaded her mind without permission!

"Well, thank you, nurse Ellis."he said. "This has been most enlightening."

"I hope she's still alive, Severus. Such a small thing..."she shook her head, feeling lightheaded. She blamed it on her worry about Snape. "I know you believe you are alone in this world, my boy. But I believe you have a true friend in her."

"Surely, you wouldn't wish her such bad luck. Being a friend of mine is a terrible fate to befall anyone."he told her as he walked out the door.

"Poor Severus... Lonely, miserable man..."nurse Ellis sighed.

* * *

><p>"Good morning, sir!"Harry said cheerfully. "You asked to see me?"<p>

"Yes, Potter. Come inside, if you please." Severus stepped aside to make way for his guest. Harry hesitated at the doorstep. Something was off...

"Potter, inside, now!" Severus snarled and Harry obeyed.

Once inside, Harry wondered if he should stay still in a corner and wait for the questions to begin. He was sure there would be questions. He paced nervously.

"Tea, Potter?"Snape asked politely and yet, somehow, rudely, at the same time.

"No, thank you, sir."he said. He'd be crazy to accept anything that could be digested. He wondered if he should be afraid for his life. Snape had threatened to poison him before.

"Sit down."Snape said and motioned to a chair. Harry sat in the one next to it.

"You and I, have much to talk about, Mr. Potter..."The words came as a threat. Harry fidgeted in his seat.

"Not really, sir. I think we talked about everything during your stay at the luxurious St. Mungo's." Harry attempted to crack a joke.

"During my torment at St. Mungo's" Snape stressed the word torment "you kept talking, non stop, and I kept trying to block your voice out, Mr. Potter. I've been meaning to ask you... How are your friends doing these days?"

"Fine, sir. All of them. Neville, Luna..."he responded.

"Let's not waste time with stupid games, Potter!"Snape raised his voice. "You can pretend to chat with me, while I cannot pretend to care about your boring life. At some point, you will grow tired and you will answer my questions! Let's skip ahead, shall we? Now, tell me... Why is nurse Ellis under the impression that, your dearest friend, Hermione Granger, is... missing in action? Hmmm?"

Harry started sweating. Why couldn't he have kept his mouth shut? Why did Snape even care?

"Sir, you do understand that if I answer your questions, I will probably meet a gruesome death in Hermione's hands?"he begged.

"So, she is alive?"Severus said, a hint of hope in his voice. He tried to conceal it.

"Very much so, sir. Still in a bit of a shock after the war but alive."

"Why all this secrecy, Potter? What harm could it do me to know who is the person that made sure I'd live to see another day?"

"I suspect Hermione has her reasons." Harry said, quite simply.

"Do you know her reasons, Potter?"he pressured.

"I have a few ideas..." Harry admitted reluctantly.

"Care to share them with an old man?" Snape urged.

"Why can't you ask her yourself? Why do I have to tell you?"Harry stood from his chair. "I'm sorry, sir. I owe you too much but this... This I can't do. I'd be sealing my doom if I did!"he said and ran out of there, as quickly as humanly possible.

Severus Snape rubbed his chin in contemplation. Why can't I, indeed? A visit to miss Granger seemed a good idea at that moment. One to be considered, at least. Yes, his saviour should be thanked, after all.

**A/N: Enjoy and review! :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**If Time Could Stop**

**Chapter 6**

Hermione had been gazing from her living room window out to the street for the past hour. She found it strangely soothing, a reminder that life went on for everyone. She smiled. Having succeeded in overcoming depression, she caught herself smiling quite often. The busy street was booming with life. How refreshing! She had a sip of her coffee and felt grateful that she could enjoy ordinary pleasures like these. So grateful, it was her day off.

She was still looking to the street, when her heart jumped in her chest. Because she was sure she'd seen Severus Snape, black robes and everything, striding to her house's direction! She withdrew from the window and all but glued her back to the wall. Her reaction didn't strike her as strange but it certainly was. He can't be coming here, she reasoned. What on earth would he want to see me for? And then came the gentle-gentle?- knock on her door. She decided that the best tactic was to pretend she wasn't in. She stupidly held her breath. He knocked again. She didn't budge.

_Go away, please..._

"Miss Granger"she heard his deep voice coming from behind the door "I saw you standing at the window a moment ago. Don't you think it's rather stupid to pretend you're not at home?"he said, unquestionably in full glare mode. Hermione agreed with him. Wasn't she too old to play games? She opened the door.

"Good morning, Professor Snape!" she said as naturally as she could. "What brings you here this fine day?"

"Save your sarcasm for others, miss Granger. It has no effect on me."he spitted out and rushed inside.

Hermione closed the door. "But it is a fine day."she grumbled under her breath.

She showed him to the living room. She couldn't help but notice how much healthier he looked, in contrast to the last time she'd seen him. His image lingered in front of her eyes; blood everywhere, eyes open... She brushed that awful memory away by blinking a couple of times. The image he presented now was far more welcome.

"Have you cracked any heads with the assistance of vases lately?"she asked humourously.

Snape's nostrils flared. "I see you keep up with the tabloids. Too much free time on your hands?"he said and sat on the sofa, crossing his legs, looking awfully uncomfortable.

"Well, one should always be informed of current events and flying vases are of the outmost importance!"she told him. "What can I get you? I am having coffee but I could brew some tea, if you'd like."

"Brew? Don't you mean, conjure?"he looked puzzled.

"Oh, no! I made a habit of brewing tea for my guests myself. I find that it tastes better."

"Tea, would be nice."he said.

Hermione quickly disappeared into the kitchen, giving herself time to collect her thoughts. Her hands were shaking; considering who was sitting in her sofa, it was only reasonable that she'd be upset. Despite that he'd never heard it, she had once promised to never see him again. Without noticing, she'd leaned her head on the cupboard, suddenly exhausted. "Okay, you silly woman, you can do this!"she whispered over the sink. "You can do this! It's just professor Snape! He won't bite your head off, will he? Control yourself!" Afterwards, she took out a nice tray and steadied her hands long enough to serve the tea. She wore her best and most radiant smile, as she sat in an armchair opposite him and asked "To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit, Professor?".

He had a sip of his tea. She was right, as always, of course. It did taste better than average tea.

"A pleasure, is it, miss Granger? You seemed set on avoiding me a while ago."

He stared at her from the other side of the room and she did what little she could to refrain from looking in his eyes.

"Not you, Professor! I try to avoid everyone. I can't help it, you see. It's a nasty habit and it has to stop. Rather... stupid, as you pointed out. I've been licking my wounds-as they say-for a year. They must have healed by now."she smiled sweetly to him. What a pretty little lie! Not a complete lie, mind you. Her wounds had healed, indeed.

"I can understand that, miss Granger. I have my fair share of wounds, as well." He paused. "But I didn't mean just today. You have been avoiding me for quite some time, haven't you?"

Hermione tried to conceal her gulp as she swallowed her coffee. How could he have known that? The man was practically in a coma when she'd told him! It was impossible, somebody else must have heard and delivered the news to him. Harry? He was the only who knew some of the facts...

"Whatever do you mean, Professor?"she faked ignorance. It was a longshot but maybe it would work.

Snape took a deep breath.

"Honestly, Granger, I expect such little tricks from Potter but not from you, the smart one! How long are you planning on insisting that you have no idea what I'm saying? Let me know so I can wait for that time to pass and then, ask you again! Really, it's quite tiresome when people behave like this! Childish! Are you a child, miss Granger? Should I treat you like one?"he said and crossed his arms on his chest.

Hermione watched his chest move to the rhythm of his breath. She almost felt it heaving under her palm , like it once had and hung her head. What use would it be to deny it? Nothing escaped Severus Snape.

"What is it that you want to know, sir?"she gave up.

Snape didn't change his stance but his face showed that he was pleased by the change in her behaviour.

"Congelasco Tempus, was it?"he asked.

"Yes." _Damn!_

"Had you ever performed it before that night?"

"No, I'd only read about it. Never even tried it once. Funny, isn't it?"

"It was a risk, Granger."he accused.

"But I took it."she sighed.

"Why?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"she snapped at him.

"You decided to stop time, miss Granger."he leaned forward. "Stop time. For ?"

"You mean, why did I want to save your life? Did I understand you correctly?"

Hermione was getting angrier by the moment. Severus didn't seem to notice.

"Yes."he nodded.

"Why didn't I leave you there to die? Are you serious, asking me that?"she insisted.

"I am always serious, miss Granger."

"Because, my dear professor, every life is sacred!"she shouted.

He smirked. "My life wasn't sacred even to me. Why would it be to you?"

Hermione shot up and paced around to keep herself from hitting him.

"Well, just because you decided to give up on yourself, doesn't mean that everybody else gave up on you, Severus Snape!" She wasn't sure whether she was actually shouting at him but she had a vague suspission. "Just because you want to believe that no one cares about you, doesn't make it true! And just because you have a piece of cold marble in the place your heart should be, doesn't mean everyone is the same! Some of us have actual feelings!"

Severus walked up to her and grabbed her arms to keep her steady. Her anger clouded his judgement and he had to get her to remain still.

"Now, you listen to me, Granger and don't think for one moment that I believe your lies!"he said through gritted teeth, his voice kept low but every word pronounced grimly, like a curse. "To you, I was nothing more than a murderer! Remember? I killed your beloved headmaster! I was a Death Eater! Another villain in your epic quest! Another obstacle! Do you really expect me to believe that you saved me out of concern? How romantically idiotic!"

Hermione looked straight into his dark eyes and realised that it didn't matter how much or what for, others blamed him because he had always blamed himself more. She didn't know if she was mad at him or if she pitied him. She pulled her arms away, not breaking eye contact.

"Yes..."she told him. "I did it out of concern. Out of devotion! I couldn't understand it then. But I figured it out, eventually. I had myself convinced it was my sense of duty to Hogwarts, that every teacher and student must be protected. Even you. When I saw you, lying in a pool of your own blood..." The memory rushed back to her; it was so vivid, it made her feel sick and she had to lean against the wall, in order to keep standing. "My hand moved of its own accord. I don't remember thinking about the spell, I just blurted it out. I... I wasn't even sure it had worked! In my head, I was trying to imagine a world where you wouldn't exist and I couldn't! I couldn't!" She buried her head in her palms, shaking.

Severus was shocked, to put it mildly. The woman was a nervous wreck! There was no way Hermione Granger could fake that reaction. She was terrible at lying! And the word she'd used... Devotion. Such a strong, solid word. Devotion? To him? That only left him with one possible explanation: she had really done it out of kindness. Out of... love!

"Come now, miss Granger."he tried to calm her down. "I didn't mean to cause you such grief." This was the first time he'd ever been nice to her. "Please, don't start crying."

Hermione shot him a lethal glare.

"I am not going to cry!"she said. "Do you want to know why?"

Judging by the look on her face, no, he really didn't. He took a step back.

"I have no more tears to cry! Not a single one!"she pointed her index finger right below his nose. "I cried myself dry, Severus Snape! And for what? For you to come here and question me! Your twisted, little mind can't even begin to grasp the notion of kindness, can it? I never expected any thanks from you but this is too much!" She settled back in her armchair. She regretted having yelled at him. Well, no way to take it back now...

Severus resumed his previous position as well. They sat in silence, for at least fifteen minutes.

"Miss Granger... You have to understand... I am not used to this kind of treatment."he said apologetically.

"I know."she said. Then she gave him another -sad- smile. "I've always had faith in you. I just couldn't match my opinion of you to the way you'd been acting. Wasn't that reason enough to cast the spell?"

"Why would you keep your role in this a secret, all this time? Was it out of shame?"

"Shame? What would I have been ashamed of?"

"Having saved me, of course."he stated the obvious. Obvious to him.

"If you must know, Professor, doing my part in saving your life was one of my proudest moments. I never felt ashamed of it." He could see that she meant it. "It was because I didn't want to take credit, you see. The witches at St. Mungo's did most of the work. "

"I never thought you to be modest."

Hermione laughed bitterly. "And I am not! What I did, it was nothing really. I said two words, blinded by passion and distress. Two words. Nothing more."

Severus winced when she casually tossed the word "passion". The heat of the battle, that's what she probably meant.

"There's only one hero in this room, professor and it isn't me."

"They told me..." He hesitated. He couldn't tell her that he'd verified the nurse's story in his own way. "They said, you were crying. And that... you wouldn't let go of..."he paused.

"You?"she added. "Yes, of course I wouldn't. I didn't trust them. It was hard for me to trust anyone at the time."

"But you trusted me? When all evidence was against me? You are a strange child, miss Granger."

"I haven't been a child for several years, Professor. I think I grew up, rather harshly, around age thirteen. Maybe even earlier than that."she trailed off. "Yes, I trusted you. Against all reason and proof, I trusted you completely. I still do. "She seemed to be thinking about something else. "You know what, Professor? In all honesty, it's not that I generally didn't trust them. I didn't trust them to take care of **you**. I couldn't trust their hands and I couldn't trust them to see to you without prejudice. To keep my precious Severus Snape safe!"she confessed, looking away absentmindedly.

Snape didn't know how to respond to that. For some odd reason, he was feeling rather shy, all of a sudden. All that praise in her voice... It wasn't something he'd heard often. Not about his person.

"And after you have, so gloriously, ruined my day... Are we done?"she asked rudely.

"It wasn't my intention to ruin your day, Granger."he said, standing up and heading for the door. Flee her presence, he scolded himself. Flee this room and all the emotions she's forcing upon you. Just... run away. Hermione held the door open for him.

"Professor, if you ever feel the need to come and see me again, take a cold shower and think it over."she said.

"Why would I want to see you again, Granger? Don't be foolish!"he replied coldly. He stepped out, into the street and it looked like he was going to disappear, when he stopped, abruptly.

"Thank you."he said, "For everything." He bowed his head slightly and he Disapparated.

Hermione wanted to move away from the door. She willed herself to move away but she couldn't. Had she really just said all those things? Had she actually called him by his name instead of his title? Had she really admitted that she cared for him? She didn't recognise herself anymore. Was she really Hermione Granger?

* * *

><p>"Harry, I'm telling you, he really upset her! When I brought up Auror training, she threatened me with a fish!" Ron couldn't help a little chuckle. Hermione had been very mad but the image of her, swinging a fish right in his face, was truly priceless. It reminded him of several times she'd told him off while they were still students.<p>

"That's the effect Snape has on people, I guess." Harry shrugged. "Did she make you eat it?"

"No, I don't think that was her intention. I think she meant to shove it up my nose!"

The two young men burst into laughter. Harry did worry about what Snape might have told Hermione but it was good to see Ron being himself without putting much of an effort into it. It had been a long time since they'd laughed like that. He wiped the tears from his cheeks and tried to stop laughing.

"They're going to officially hire me next month." Ron changed the subject.

"That's good."Harry said.

"Yeah." Ron lowered his eyes. "And I'm going to ask Hermione to marry me."

Harry choked. He knew that Hermione and Ron were serious about their relationship but his friend had never told him he was THAT serious. It was a nice surprise though.

"I've given it a lot of thought, mate."Ron added.

"What's the hurry?"Harry asked him.

"I'm not saying we have to get married within the year! I only planned as far as asking... Don't even know if she's going to say yes..."

"What else could she say?"Harry exclaimed.

"Don't know... Bugger off? Shut up?"he scoffed.

"It's Hermione we're talking about. She'd never do that."

"You never know. Women are weird, right?"Ron chuckled. "But this one's my weird woman. And I'm crazy about her! Hopefully, I'll manage not to stutter..."

"Everything will go just fine."Harry cheered.

"Yeah... Yeah, it will."Ron smiled and his face lit up.

**A/N: I might become boring eventually buuuut... thank you for your kind attention! May this chapter be to your liking! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**If Time Could Stop**

**Chapter 7**

The Burrow was buzzing. Filled with people, once more; aunts and uncles and cousins of Ron. Some Hermione had met before, others she was seeing for the first time. Animated faces, wherever she looked. A big - well...huge- happy family and she' d been allowed to be part of it. That's what the Weasleys were to her, family. The Burrow, a second home. And she was thankful for that. The general cheerfulness hadn't taken complete hold of her, regretably, as she had witnessed Ron messing with his food, instead of devouring it and asking for seconds. It was so unusual, disturbing even and she wondered if he was still mad at her. In all fairness, he probably should be. She'd been unfair in her scolding the other day. No question about it. Where had she found that trout anyway, she wondered. Had she conjured it? Amusing as it was in retrospect, she shouldn't have done that. Poor, Ronald!

After most of the guests departed, she helped clean the dishes. Mrs. Weasley thanked her a thousand times, in between comments about the meal and everyone's behaviour. Hermione noticed Ron, standing by the door and waiting for them to finish. He had a solemn look on his face. She didn't like it. Whatever was bothering him, it couldn't be good. She took her time, letting herself be absorbed by what Mrs. Weasley had to say. "Hermione" Ron called her gently when he decided he couldn't wait any longer. "Can I see you outside for a moment?"he said and marched to the garden. Hermione followed suit.

Once outside, a gentle breeze caressed her hair and she had to pull it out of her face. Ron was walking back and forth. She wished he'd stop that, it was making her nervous. Her eyes rose up to the sky. It was full of stars.

"Beautiful night, isn't it?"she said.

"Yeah, gorgeous." Ron replied without looking up.

_Oh, this is not good. This is so not good..._

Finally, he stopped, just a few feet away from her but still too far, she thought. He scratched the back of his head.

"Listen, Hermione... We should talk."he told her.

"Ron, if this is about the fish incident, I told you I was sorry..."

He laughed, nervously. "That fish thing was brilliant, Hermione!"he said. "Brilliant, I tell you! It reminded me of the... old you. I was laughing for hours after that!"

"Then what has gotten into you? You've been acting strange all week."

"It's about the talk, see... You have to let me tell you something and not interrupt me, alright? Because I might lose my nerve. It is really important that you don't interrupt me, no matter how much you want to!"

"Alright..."Hermione told him and waited, frozen in place, fear rising in her heart. Was he going to break up with her?

"Okay..."he started walking again, looking at the ground.

"Can you stop pacing, please? It's quite distracting."

He did.

"Okay..."he said again, looking right at her this time. "Look, Hermione. You and I, we go a long way back, yeah? We've done so many things together, been through hell... You know me better than anyone. You know me better than I know myself! It's true, you see right through me. Not in a bad way. I mean, you see right through me, in a good, fuzzy way. Does that make sense?" He didn't wait for an answer. "And you know I'm not good with words, never been. Grand gestures? Not my thing really, is it? What I'm trying to say is... Damn... I'm crazy about you, Hermione! You know that, right?"He moved closer to her. His hand reached for something in his pocket. When he pulled it out, he was holding a small box. "Here!"he said and handed it to her.

Hermione watched her hand move and take it. She felt like she was walking in a dream. She lowered her head and looked at it, carefully. Her mind was screaming "Is this real? Is this really happening?" and at the same time, knowing that it was. Her pulse sped up.

"What do you say?"Ron broke her trance.

"To what?" Her head shot up at the sound of his voice.

"To my question!"he pushed, obviously agitated.

"You didn't ask me anything, Ron." She blushed. He scratched his head again.

"Fine, then."He inhaled deeply. "Hermione... Oh, bloody, hell! I can't do this!"he exclaimed.

Hermione got hold of his hand and squeezed it gently. "I know you can."she smiled.

"Alright..."he found courage in her small hand holding his own. "Hermione, will you marry me?" He was shocked when he heard his own voice come out, so steady and calm, not a pathetic little squeak. He was equally shocked when Hermione lunged at him, throwing her arms around his neck and burying her face in his chest. His own hands moved to her back, to hold her, to make sure she was really there and he was relieved at her reaction. "Of, course, I will, Ron! Of course!"she whispered.

"Don't you want to see the ring?"he asked.

"The ring doesn't matter! Nothing matters but you!"she told him, raising her head to look at him. Her eyes were watering but she didn't cry and Ron didn't mind.

"Doesn't matter? Took me a month to find the perfect ring and now it doesn't matter?"he faked whining.

"A month?"Hermione asked. "You've been looking for a whole month?"

"Didn't think I had it in me, did you?"

"No, it's just... I didn't think you'd go into all this trouble for me."

"Nothing less than perfect for my Hermione!"he winked at her, taking the box, opening it and placing the ring on her finger, where it would remain for the rest of their lives. Hermione couldn't take her eyes off him.

"Fine, don't even look at it, then."he said playfully and rolled his eyes.

Hermione's hands flied up to his chest and rested there. "I only have eyes for you."she said and pressed her lips to his, pulling him in a passionate kiss.

They would have stayed there for hours, kissing the breath out of each other, if Mrs. Weasley hadn't opened the door to shout at them, to stop standing there in the cold and hurry back inside. Hermione was in a daze. She'd never felt happier in her life! She waltzed her way back inside with Ron right behind her. When her left hand touched her cheek that seemed to be on fire, Ginny's eyes widened in surprise and she grabbed that hand, held it in the air and shouted, loud enough for everyone to hear "Moooooom! Look at what Ron did!".

* * *

><p>The rain whipping at the windows wasn't a terrible nuisance for Severus Snape. On the contrary, he welcomed the noise, which provided him with distraction from his unsettling contemplation. Booming thunders made the windows creak. He'd been in his bed, tossing and turning for hours. Battling with insomnia had proved to be futile, as sleep evaded him, one more night. "No rest for the wicked"he mumbled, lying on his back and observing the ceiling. The trees bending under the pressure of the wind outside cast dancing shadows on the walls of his room. He grabbed his wand from the nightstand and placed it on his chest, patting it once, twice, as if it was a dear friend. Maybe it was.<p>

His thoughts went to Hermione Granger and her foolish actions that led him to be lying awake in his bed rather than, asleep in his grave. No, not asleep, he corrected himself. Dead. Was that a better option really? He wasn't so sure anymore... His hands covered his eyes and he took a deep breath. There was no point staying in bed; he knew he wouldn't sleep. He moved to his desk and picked up one of his books. Why let time go to waste? Catching up on his reading seemed like a good idea.

Only that didn't work either. He was forced to stop and re-read each sentence, as his mind wandered to another... less pleasing subject. Wait... Was he really...considering...? No... It was impossible! And yet... he was. Trying to find a way to thank Granger for what she'd done. He had already thanked her verbally but it seemed insufficient, somehow. But why should it matter to him? He wasn't the least bit interested in her! Severus, you liar, his mind growled accusingly. He remembered how the possibility of her death had electrified him. Why was that? Having actual feelings for her would be preposterous! He pushed her out of his mind, violently. "There's no room in here for you, witch!" he said. Was there room for anyone other than... Lily? Her name didn't come to him as easily at it used to. Why?

He got into bed again, his mind set on sleeping. He wondered if it would work. His eyes felt heavy and he thought, mission acomplished. Hermione's image appeared again but he already was on his way to dreamland so he made no effort to push her away. It was odd though that as soon as he decided to let it be, a warm feeling settled in his heart, causing a tiny smile to form on his lips. He saw her, with his mind's eye, sitting in her armchair, in her small living room, pain evident in her features when she'd told him that she didn't trust others "To keep my precious Severus Snape safe!". Had she really said that or was his memory playing tricks on him, messing with an old man's heart? "I'm not old" he whispered. But the girl is your student! his brain retorted. "Not my student anymore."he said in his sleep. "Not a girl anymore, either."he finished. It was the best night's sleep he'd had in years.

**A/N: I don't mean to overwhelm you with updates. But I'm very upset today and I'm almost finished with the last chapter (which will be number 12) and I thought, why not? Thank you for your time! **


	8. Chapter 8

**If Time Could Stop**

**Chapter 8**

"Are congratulations in order?"

Hermione looked up from her desk. She'd been reading reports for the last two hours; a break from work couldn't hurt. She saw Harry's face, inches from her own, smiling widely and her stress flew out of the window.

"You knew?"she asked. "You knew he was going to propose?"

"Do you even have to ask? I'm his best friend, Hermione. We tell each other everything!" He sat in a nearby chair.

"And you couldn't have dropped a hint?"

"Would it have made any difference?"he asked her.

She shook her head. "None at all!"

"So? What did you say?"

"Harry! Stop teasing, will you?"she reached over the desk and punched his arm lightly.

"What?"he pretended he couldn't understand.

"I said yes, Harry! Of course, I said yes..."she smiled, her head in the clouds.

"Congratulations, then!"Harry mockingly shook the hand that had punched him.

"Stop it, you idiot!"she said and got up from her seat the same time as him. They met in the middle, bumping into each other's arms for a hug. When they pulled apart, Hermione asked him if he'd be staying.

"No, sorry. Just popped in to say hello. Hello!"he waved. "And now, I have to go. Hopkirk has sent for me."

"What for?"

"Somebody blew up a building. A squib, I think she said."

"Seriously, Harry! You have to stop running to their rescue all the time! You've been called to the Improper Use of Magic Office seven times, only this month! Can't they handle a simple explosion themselves?"Hermione said.

"Muggles were involved. Magical Accidents and Catastrophes are in on it too."

"You just can't help it, can you?"she said kindly.

"I'll try to stop, I swear." He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and took off.

"Harry!"Hermione called out and he stopped. "What were they trying to brew before it blew up in their faces?"she asked him.

"Felix Felicis. The irony of it, huh? No one's sure though, it was a bit of a mess. Snape's been called in, to help identify it."he said and vanished.

Snape is coming to the Ministry? Hermione thought. I'd better stay away from level five, then.

* * *

><p>Severus was having a bad day. An owl from the Ministry had interrupted his sleep while he was in the middle of a very good dream and then, the damn bird had decided to peck on his nose. The result had been a scared owl and a wounded nose. And of course, a number of angry words aimed at the Ministry and all the people who worked there. He was currenty pushing witches and wizards out of his way, mumbling curses. He hoped the task they needed him for would be an easy one, so he could return home and at least have a cup of tea, in peace. He didn't want to be called on official business. He didn't enjoy their eagerness to include him in the mishaps of the magical world. He didn't want to be their hero, that was Potter's job. His hand rose to his nose and felt a small piece of skin missing. "Stupid bird! I should have plucked your feathers out!"he spat. It was no wonder that in his furious state, he didn't even notice that the name on the door he opened, stated he was about to walk into Hermione Granger's office.<p>

"What do you want from me, Hopkirk?"he shouted.

Hermione, who had gone back to work, raised her head from a report for the second time that day and her jaw dropped. "This goes to show that even when you don't go looking for trouble, trouble comes looking for you."she thought out loud.

"Granger?"Snape looked around, utterly confused. "What are you doing here?"

She walked to the open door and tapped her finger on it. "Hermione Granger" Snape mouthed. Hermione closed the door. Some of the people outside were beginning to look alarmed. And curious.

"You work here?"he asked.

"Head of my department."

"Good for you, Granger! But isn't this supposed to be Mafalda Hopkirk's office?"

"Mafalda's office is on level five. This is level four, sir."

"Ah. It seems I have made a mistake."Snape said.

"It would seem so, yes."Hermione nodded in agreement.

He knew he had to turn around, get out and go to level five, as he had intended. He knew it. But he didn't do it. He remained in the middle of her office, looking thoroughly at her. The large window behind her was letting the sunshine in, framing her, like a bloody portrait by some Italian painter. She looked absolutely divine. Just like in his dream; the one that awful owl had interrupted. His hand went to his nose once more.

Hermione couldn't believe that he was still standing there! Important people were waiting for him and he lingered in her office, doing nothing, saying nothing, with that faraway look in his eyes! She observed him the way he was observing her. Looking better each day, he was. She shook her head.

"What happened to your nose?"she asked, looking for a way to break the silence. And the tension.

"Ministry owl."he growled and pulled his hand in his robes quickly.

"Did you kill it?"she jested.

"I should have..." The tips of his mouth tilted upwards, a movement so subtle-so rare- it was invisible to the naked eye.

"I'm sure it meant only to do its job. Hurting your nose couldn't have possibly been in schedule."

"It is of little concern to me what the motives of the bird were. What angers me is that I was called for a job that isn't mine to do."

"Why didn't you heal it?"Hermione asked him.

"What?"

"Your nose. Why didn't you heal it?"

"It serves as fuel to my rage. I intend to give Hopkirk a piece of my mind." he explained.

"I wish you wouldn't do that."she pleaded.

"Why not?"His brow raised.

"Mafalda is quite stressed at the moment, your scolding will only cause her more grief. And she's a nice person, sir. I rather like her."

"Fine."he said. Why was he agreeing to spare someone simply because Granger liked them?

"Thank you."

Had he really agreed to what she'd said? She felt uncomfortable but he didn't look like he was about to leave and that left Hermione with only one option. "Would you care to sit down?"she asked him, regretting it immediately. Severus thought about it for a second and then decided that, yes. Yes, he did.

"Do you brew tea here, as well?"he asked.

"No, not here. But I can conjure a cup for you, if you'd like that."

"No need, thank you." He would have liked to drink tea, brewed by her. The "personal" kind of tea she prepared for all her guests. Not a conjured up, second best mixture. He snorted.

"Pardon?"Hermione thought it was intended for her and wes ready to shout something offensive at him but he... apologised.

"I'm sorry, Granger. I was thinking about something completely irrelevant."

"Oh"she replied simply.

Severus stared at her hands. Palms facing down at the desk, fingers stretched out and he thought "Exquisite, admirable hands, capable of great things, like saving someone's wretched life and holding on to him, for as long as needed... Long, beautiful fingers..." and he stopped. He couldn't think and he couldn't speak as a desperate yelp was caught in his throat, causing him mental suffocation. He wished he could die, right then and there. "Long, beautiful fingers, wearing a ring another man gave to her... Long, beautiful fingers that were never meant to entangle my own...". His thoughts faded and he focused his gaze on the floor, unable to look at her anymore.

Hermione noticed.

"Professor? Is something wrong?"

Snape's eyes crawled back to her, this time cold and devoid of feeling. His heart ached but he'd never let her see.

"Why do you say that, Granger?"

"You seemed... Never mind!"she dismissed the topic, as the coldness of his eyes creeped into her.

"How is Mr. Weasley doing these days?"he asked, more to remind himself she was engaged than out of concern. "I see you are wearing an engagement ring. It is he who gave it to you, am I correct?"

Hermione looked at her ring. Ron's proposal popped into her mind. She smiled blissfully and touched the diamond resting on white gold.

"Yes, he did. Just yesterday."she told him.

Bloody hell, she looked lovely, smiling because of someone else! Curse you, Weasley! Severus wondered what he was still doing in her office. Against his better judgement, he'd stayed, hoping to... what? Charm her? With what? He had neither wealth nor the looks of a young man! He was old and bitter and alone. But she'd allowed him to hope for a future when he wouldn't be alone anymore; now, she was taking it all back, looking fondly at that stupid ring on her finger! "Really, Severus, compose yourself! You had no chance winning her heart to begin with!"he reasoned. _Yes, but I wanted to..._

"Congratulations, miss Granger."he managed to say.

"Thank you, sir!"

She looked at him, her eyes shining, love oozing out of them. He couldn't bear it. He had to think of a snide remark to throw at her and fast!

"Professor..."Hermione interrupted his train of thought. "I know it was rather rude of me, to tell you not to come see me again. To be honest, I didn't really mean it. Could I hope for your acceptance of an apology?"

"You don't need my forgiveness, Granger. You should never apologise for speaking your mind."Severus said.

"But I wasn't speaking my mind! That's what I'm trying to tell you! I just blurted out something ridiculous because I was mad!"

"It does not surprise me."

"Excuse me?" Hermione asked.

"Are you deaf, Granger? Your behaviour being ridiculous doesn't come as a surprise to me. Heard me now?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"Her eyes searched his face for a sign that he was joking but there was none.

"Do I really have to explain it to you? Fine! You have always been ridiculous, Granger. You were ridiculous in your attempt to be the best in your class. You were ridiculous in thinking that anyone would be glad to have his life saved by you! You are ridiculous in your choice of a husband which will produce ridiculous offspring, who will support ridiculous behaviours, inherited by their ridiculous parents!"he told her and decided it was time to make for the door. But Hermione ran after him and stopped him as he was reaching for the doorhandle, turning him around, forcing him to face her.

"I am not ridiculous! In any way!"she clarified, her face too close to his. Making him feel shy. Making him feel ashamed for the things he'd said. "In case you somehow missed it, I was the best in my class, I had friends that I managed to keep after school and most importantly, I have a life! Which is more than can be said for you! Your sense of pride is misguided! You are not superior to anyone! You are the one who is ridiculous! For you remain unchanged! Unaffected by the things happening around you! Still in love with the same woman that you've loved since childhood! Pushing people away from you! Insulting those who care about you!" She shoved him against the door and his heart bounced under her touch; however violent, he welcomed it. "Ronald is a good man! He has a kind heart! He is brave! In fact, Ron Weasley is nothing short of perfect! He is far better than you could ever hope to be, Severus Snape!" Hermione tried to catch her breath. "Are you sitting comfortably on your high horse, looking down on us mere mortals?"

He was starting to feel irritated. True, he deserved that but the heat of her words was slowly creating a need for defense and Severus feared he might do something incredibly stupid. Her small hands collided with his chest again.

"What is wrong with you? Are you bipolar or something? One minute you're being nice to me and the next you're saying all those impossible things? What did I ever do to you? Is it because of what I did, back then? Didn't you want to be saved? Did you have a deathwish? Is life too much for you, Severus? If that's your problem, dig yourself a grave and crawl inside it! I assure you, no one will miss your horrible character! We won't miss having to look at your revolting face! You will be doing us a favour!" Hermione understood she was being unfair again. And dishonest. She would definitely miss looking at his face... But it was too late. She'd already said it.

Severus attacked within the two seconds that she'd stopped shouting. "Did you consider that sticking around might be my way of annoying you? Maybe being cruel is what I do best! Do you know who is to blame? The piece of cold marble in the place where my heart should be! Yes, you were right the first time! I don't have a heart! I have no place for kindness inside me! And you know what, Granger? We can't all be fountains overflowing with love, like you! I've had it with your idiotic belief that love makes the world go around! It doesn't!"

"I never said that it does! But would it hurt you to show some consideration for people's feelings?"she shouted back.

He gave her a look full of contempt.

"Your feelings, you mean!"

"Yes, mine! Would it kill you to be a bit more kind to me? Is that too much to ask?"Hermione knew it had gone too far. She only wanted him to like her. Just a little bit. Nothing more. But Severus was out of reach; her words meant nothing to him now.

"Why would I want to be kind to you, mudblood?"He regretted the word as soon as it had left his mouth. He didn't notice Hermione raising her hand until it was too late. He deserved it, he thought. He almost begged her to slap him again. What a moron he was, repeating past mistakes. He couldn't believe it... When he looked at her, she was crying. She'd told him there were no more tears in her and yet, the bastard that he was, he had to prove her wrong. His hand shot to her face in a desperate attempt to dry her tears but she pulled back.

"Don't you touch me!"she hissed at him.

"Granger..."he said, his voice a tormented sound.

"You will never change, will you?"She only said it to confirm her own fears. "I've heard that word so many times... It doesn't hurt me anymore. The word itself has no power over me. But coming from your mouth..."

Severus approached her. Maybe if he could get close enough, she would listen. His lips parted, ready to produce sound but Hermione didn't let him speak.

"I want nothing to do with you, do you understand? You will leave my office and you will never, ever come anywhere close to me! This time, I mean it! Everytime I see you, you say one thing or another and you break my heart! I don't deserve it!"

Severus made a hasty exit. He didn't turn around to look at her. He just left. Hermione couldn't stop sobbing. She couldn't forgive him for what he'd said. She couldn't forgive herself either, for telling him to leave, for good this time. It seemed that for every step she made forward, he took three steps back... What if, all he needed was someone who wouldn't turn away at his insults? What if, all it would take was someone to stay put and call Severus on his bluff?

**A/N: Another chapter for you, my darlings! Enjoy and review! :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**If Time Could Stop**

**Chapter 9**

There was so much to be done with the wedding taking place in six months that Hermione had very little time to stop and think about... not Severus Snape. About anything, really. She had been detemined not to let Mrs. Weasley get involved in the preparations; she was now considering begging the woman for help. Despite the fact that she was a woman herself, planning the perfect wedding had never been her hobby and she'd often groaned in frustration watching her friends and classmates do exactly that. Maybe it's a skill, she thought, as she strolled carelessly around Diagon Alley. Maybe I just need to put more effort into it.

At that exact moment, rain started pouring down from the sky in torrents. She could have conjured an umbrella but it took only a few seconds for her to get completely soaked. She ran to the nearest shop, hoping they would serve some kind of hot beverage. Much to her dismay, every table was full. Except for one. There was an unoccupied chair and the person sitting on the other side seemed intently focused on his newspaper. She cleared her throat.

"Would you mind terribly if I sat here? Just until it stops rainning."she asked and was dumbfounded. As he lowered the newspaper to see who would dare disturb him, Severus Snape matched her expression. His eyes narrowed in an instant. So did hers. She sat in the empty chair anyway.

"Granger..."he said, his deep voice stabbing her like a knife.

"Snape..."she retorted in the same tone.

They kept their silence for a while, staring at each other from across the table. Had they turned this into a contest, Hermione wondered. The one who blinks first loses? Severus Snape was the king of glares, she stood no chance. She sighed in defeat.

"I hope you plan on apologising soon."she huffed.

"Me? You are the one who intruded my peace and quiet."he said with his firm voice.

Hermione looked around the shop. Many people, crammed in a small space, speaking all at once...

"Is this your idea of peace and quiet?"she mocked him. "You know what I mean..."

"You are right, as always, miss Granger." He folded the newspaper and put it away. "I shouldn't have called you a mudblood. It was the worst thing I could have said. You didn't deserve it. Nobody does. Please, forgive my vulgarity."he said in earnest, his face as serious as ever.

"Apology accepted!"she said and gave him one of her brightest smiles.

"Am I to understand that your order for me to stay away from you has been revoked?"he asked, excited by her smile.

"If you so wish, you can come as close to me as you'd like."Slip of the tongue, Hermione's mind noted. Didn't mean anything. Although it did.

Be careful what you wish for, Granger, he thought.

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, I was working out some of the details for the wedding. But weather is against me, as it seems." She looked at her clothes. With a flick of her wand, she felt them hugging her figure, dry and warm.

"And when is the happy day?"he inquired.

"You'll get an invitation, don't worry."she told him and stuck her tongue out.

Her playfulness amused him. Moments ago, they weren't on speaking terms and look at her now! She was a constant surprise, this one. A small miracle. Who would have thought that Severus Snape could ever feel so strongly about someone?

"What are you having?"she asked, glancing at the cup on the table.

"I believe it's supposed to be... tea."he said.

"Is it any good?"

"Do you see me drinking it?"

"That bad?" She looked to the street. "Oh, look! The rain has stopped! Home it is, then!"she got up and headed for the door.

_Not even worthy of a simple goodbye, am I, Granger?_

She stopped and looked at him. "Well?"she said.

"Well, what?"he asked.

"Aren't you coming?"

Oh! She'd been expecting him to follow! He looked at the liquid inside his cup.

"Lead the way, Granger."

* * *

><p>He was sitting in her sofa, just like the last time, only more comfortably. Relaxed... He was drinking the tea she'd made in her small kitchen. It was like tasting heaven.<p>

"How is your tea?"she asked.

"Better than expected."he said and bowed his head slightly. And then, she laughed.

"What is so funny?"he asked her.

"You. You love the tea, don't you? Admit it!"she challenged him.

"I am not going to compliment you, Granger."

"How about the tea? Would you be willing to compliment the tea?"

"Alright. The tea is exquisite."Severus said. He looked at her meaningfully. _I mean, you. You are exquisite_, his eyes said but he continued. "It's the company I find annoying."

Hermione laughed again.

"I wasn't trying to be funny. What is wrong with you?"

"I'm sorry if it seems that I'm trying to make fun of you. I'm really not!"

"Then, what are you doing?"

"I'm calling your bluff."she said, looking deep in his eyes, the windows to his soul.

"My bluff? I don't understand..."

"That's alright, you don't have to."she told him and dropped the matter altogether. "When are you going back to teaching?"

"In a few months. They told me there was no hurry."

So begun a casual conversation which made Severus question his mental health. The ring on her finger was screaming at him, mocking him, telling him not to get too cozy, that she'd never be his and that he should just stop this insanity. He didn't listen. He didn't care. If this was all he could get from her, he'd learn to like it, he'd learn to not ask for more. He'd only been fed scraps of love his entire life. He could live with the scraps of her love. He'd have to.

Hermione also questioned her sanity. She'd thought her decision to never see him again had been solid. But there she was, having a cup of tea with him, enjoying their chat and craving for... Craving? No, that couldn't be right... There was no craving involved!she chastised herself. Admiring, she corrected. Admiring his knowledge and his wit. Admiring how he was beginning to open up to her. Her eyes fell on his lips. There was the craving again... She decided to ignore it.

"With all due respect, Granger, you look like an idiot."

"What? Why?"

"For a moment there, your gaze strongly resembled a cow's, dreaming of fields of grass."

"Forgive me... My mind wandered off."she said, embarassed. "Respect..."she chuckled. "You almost had me there."

"You don't think I respect you?"

"You describe me as annoying, quite often. That isn't very respectful, is it?"

"Admittedly, certain traits of your character can be annoying. But I do respect your intellect. You have a magnificent..."he controlled himself. "... brain." _Enough for one day, Severus. Don't push your luck._

"I have to go."he said.

"I'll see you to the door, then." Hermione got up from her seat at the same time he did. A small frown had formed on her face. She couldn't help it. His manner hadn't really changed but once he felt at ease, he was wonderful to have around. How many people would agree to that? Not many, she reckoned. Maybe it wasn't him that felt at ease. Maybe it was her.

"Thank you for the tea."he said at the door, his back turned to her.

Hermione was feeling tense. Her heart was throbbing and she couldn't think straight. It had been so easy to reach him before and now she felt like they were worlds apart. When he turned around to shake her hand, she desperately threw her arms around him, trapping his own on his sides and felt his body freeze on impact. With her head resting on his chest, she could hear his heart beating; so wild! She was scared, momentarily. But the warmth of his body and the softness of his robes were too good to be pulled away from. He let out an angry moan. "You've done it now, Hermione"her magnificent brain shouted fiercely but her heart softly whispered "I don't care".

"Take your hands off me, Granger."Severus growled.

There was the voice of her professor, forcing her back to reality. She felt like a student again, being told off for having spoken without raising her hand. She released him eventhough she didn't really want to; apart from his strict voice, another reason came to remind her why she shouldn't be hugging Severus Snape and it was none other than Ron Weasley.

Apparently, Severus had managed to keep his cool mask. His own desires hadn't made it to the surface and he was quick to discipline Hermione.

"This kind of demeanor is unacceptable."

"I know, I know..." Hermione said, not daring a glance at him.

"Foolish. Absurd. Irrational."he mentioned only a few of the words that popped into mind.

"Yes, I know..."she nodded, waiting patiently for him to finish.

"Demented."

"That too..."

"I cannot figure you out, Granger. What were you thinking?"

She wished that he'd start yelling at some point because the way his voice was coming out, low and harsh, seemed more menacing than anything she'd heard before.

"I don't know."she said. Severus rolled his eyes and waved his hand in exasperation.

"It must be my turn to order you to stay away from me..."he said and bowed his head to look at the floor. Would he really do that? No, he wouldn't.

"Please, don't!"Hermione all but fell on her knees.

"Seeing as it is completely pointless, I won't."

"Pointless?"

"Well, of course it's pointless. You keep trying to avoid me and I keep trying to give you up but it's obviously not working, is it?"he explained.

"Why would you be trying to give me up?"she asked.

"Really, Granger, you can be such an imbecile sometimes..."he sighed, exhausted.

And then it dawned on her; whatever she'd be feeling, he had been feeling it too. All those inappropriate thoughts that she'd been trying to banish from her mind, all those emotions bottled up... Severus Snape was looking at her casually, not changing his guise. It was all too familiar but it carried a new meaning. As she tried to comprehend their situation, guilt started forming inside her, relentless, wounding and well deserved...

"Do not make a martyr of yourself, Granger. I am equally guilty."said Severus.

The dreaded word unspoken by either of them but professed all the same. Hermione wished she could have figured it out sooner. She didn't like herself very much, at the moment. Ron didn't deserve a broken heart. But neither did Severus. Oh, what had she done? She wanted to find shelter in his arms but it at the same time, she didn't.

"Severus..."she called him by his first name for the first time.

"What?"he said indifferently but his heart pulsed uncomfortably.

"Nothing. I just wanted to call you by your name."she whispered.

"Leave it to women to seek some kind of symbolism in such trivial things..."

She offered him a smile that didn't touch her eyes.

"You have to forgive me. I didn't mean to throw myself at you. I never meant to act on my feelings, however deep or shallow they might be..."

"And what if I had decided to act on my own? What if I had taken advantage of the situation?"

Both of them knew the answer to that question. Despite all the horrible things he considered himself to be, Severus Snape was decent. Honorable. Hermione Granger was engaged to be married, in six months, as she had informed him earlier. He couldn't make advances of any kind to a woman who belonged to someone else. Frankly, he wanted to be spared the drama of the situation.

"In what way?"she asked.

"What if had kissed you?" he said and moved closer, not really touching her but close enough. Her eyes gave away too much; she was hopeful and frightened. What if he had kissed her, she asked herself.

"Would that have been so bad?"she said out loud.

"Only you know that, Granger."

She didn't have to think about it.

"It would have been very bad..."she confirmed. "I'm like a swan, you see."she said and suddenly, she seemed so innocent and her explanation so honest. "I mate for life. Ron Weasley is my one and only."

Severus walked to the window and fixed his gaze outside, not looking at something in particular; just anything that wasn't her.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me."he told her.

"Don't I? Why is that?"

"Because I don't care."

"Well, I do."

"Of course, you do, Granger. You are made of sugar and fluff..."he mocked bitterly but she knew he wasn't aiming to hurt her.

"I, most certainly, am not."

Severus sighed.

"What will you do?"she asked him.

"Don't you worry about me, I can cope..."

Hermione went to stand beside him.

"I shouldn't be here."he said as he turned and looked at her.

"Nobody's forcing you to stay."she replied with a frown.

"Masochism is the term, I believe."

She crinkled her nose.

"Will I see you again?"she asked.

"If I am fortunate enough, no."he replied somberly.

"Can I be allowed to act foolishly, then? Just for a moment."

"You've been acting foolishly all afternoon."he said. Before he could finish his sentence, Hermione reached for his hand and held it tightly. Her fingers intertwined with his. For some reason, she felt safe.

* * *

><p>Harry was helping Ron pick a suit for the wedding but his friend had been anxious the whole time and it was starting to annoy him.<p>

"Seriously, Ron! Stop it! You're giving me a headache!"

"Sorry, mate! It just has to be perfect, you know?"Ron said.

"I know, I know..." Harry shook his head.

"I still can't believe it! Pinch me, Harry!"he said and Harry obliged.

"Ow! That was just mean!" Ron protested.

He looked in the mirror. Then, he chuckled.

"What is it?" Harry asked him.

"Ah, it's nothing. I just never thought I'd feel like this..."he said.

"Like what?"

Ron looked at him, smiling blissfully and said "Like this. Complete."

**A/N: I hate doing this to Ron! I really do!**

**Keep those reviews coming! Criticism works too! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**If Time Could Stop**

**Chapter 10**

The Ministry had to plan another formal dance. Hermione was growing tired of it. Being an employee there meant that her presence was required. She usually enjoyed such events but it was becoming ridiculous! Really, did they have to make such a big deal out of everything? It was just a new fountain to decorate the entrance, for goodness sake! Why would someone celebrate an occasion like that? But her eyes travelled to Ron and her heart fluttered. He looked so handsome in his formal robes and she couldn't keep her eyes off him. Her hand caressed his arm tenderly and he turned to her with a confused smile.

"What is it?"he asked her.

"Nothing, you just look very stylish tonight, that's all."she explained and saw him blush.

"You look great too."he said simply.

As much as she had hoped to put the drama of the previous week behind her, it was hopeless. Although her reaction had been casual, she couldn't help but feel ambushed when she'd realised Severus Snape was seated at the table next to theirs. Being a gentleman, he hadn't made any move to reveal his annoyance but there were moments, she felt, he was staring daggers at her. She'd made no attempt to speak to him and neither had he. They had simply bowed their heads in acknowledgement of each other's presence and that was that.

"Why is Snape sitting over there all by his lonesome?"Harry asked, approaching his friends, dragging Ginny along with him.

"Everyone is dancing, that's why he's on his own. He doesn't look like the type who likes to dance."Ron said.

"Yeah but you could have told him to sit with you."Harry protested and before Hermione could stop him, he turned to Snape and said "Care to join us, sir?"

"I am perfectly fine right here, Potter."Severus replied.

"Nonsense!"Harry retorted and let go of Ginny's hand to rush over and grab Snape by the arm. "Unpleasant as you may find our company, it's definitely better than sitting here alone. Come on!"he said and almost forced Severus to join their table. Hermione flinched as Harry pulled back a chair for Snape.

"Good evening, sir!"Ginny and Ron said at once.

"You would think so, wouldn't you?"he told them.

At that point, Mafalda Hopkirk approached.

"How are you all doing?"she asked cheerfully.

Pleasantries were exchanged by all, except Severus, of course, who remained silent in his seat.

"Say, Mafalda, where is your date?"Ron asked.

"Oh, he was called away on business! Us Ministry employees can't help but answer the call of duty!"she said, chuckling, which lead Hermione to believe that Mafalda might have had a bit too much to drink.

"That simply won't do!"Ron exclaimed and getting up, he offered Mafalda his arm. "Care to dance, miss Hopkirk?"

"Now, Ronald, don't go killing the poor woman's feet!"Hermione jested.

"Leave the man alone!"Mafalda replied in good humour and took Ron's arm. "Lead the way, Mr. Weasley! If it is for the pleasure of your company, my feet can handle the pressure just fine!"she told him and they disappeared inside the crowd occupying the dancefloor.

"Should we follow their example?"Ginny asked Harry and he agreed, following in the footsteps of his friend.

Hermione felt uncomfortable, sitting across Severus, knowing that she couldn't sit there silently and ignore him. He was his usual self, scowling and looking generally bored. She wondered if he was feeling the same way she did. Had they been alone in the room, she would have reached for his hand. Given their predicament, it seemed best that they were surrounded by people.

"You look quite charming."she told him, unable to stop herself.

"I don't expect you to make small talk, Granger. You may as well pretend that I'm not here."he said.

"You don't strike me as the type who would enjoy such gatherings."she continued, despite his rudeness.

"I was forced to attend this event."he mumbled. "I don't plan on making a habit of taking part in festivities."

"Forced?"

"Potter kept bothering me until I agreed to show up."he said looking disgusted.

"I see."she commented and left it at that, turning to look at the dancers.

"Do you enjoy dancing?"Severus asked.

"Very much!"she told him and a hopeful smile lit up her face.

"I'm not going to ask you to dance, Granger, so wipe that smile from your face. I was just curious."

"Of course, I know."she replied but her heart sank.

"How are the preparations for the wedding coming along?"Severus asked simply to remind her of their situation.

"Everything is going fine. Thank you for asking!"

"Good."he spat. He hadn't been able to stop stealing glances at her all night and it made him mad. Hermione Granger, soon to be Weasley, he thought. Never forget that.

The music suddenly stopped and a voice sounded across the room, announcing that it was time to reveal the fountain. Everybody started walking to the entrance and Ron made his way back to the table to fetch Hermione.

"I've already seen it, Ron. I'd rather not join you, if that's okay."she said apologetically and he replied that it was. He kissed her cheek and went along with the others.

"Aren't you going to take a look at the fountain?"she turned to Severus but he wasn't there.

Hermione sighed. He was right to flee, she reckoned. The pressure was too much. She calculated that it would take about an hour before everyone came back and decided to retreat to the safety of her office, in order to clear her head. She would feel much more relaxed and sheltered in the company of her books, she thought as she opened the door, not bothering to turn the lights on. The moon wasn't that bright but the light it shed through the window was enough to help her find her way and not bump into her desk.

"Can't I get a moment's peace?"growled a familiar voice and Hermione let out a little shriek.

"Severus?"she whispered.

"Who else?"he said, stepping out of the shadows and in front of the window. The pale moonlight made him look eerie and frightening but Hermione was just too happy to find him there. If she was being honest with herself, she'd hoped that she could have some time alone with him ever since she found out he was in the same building with her.

"What are you doing in my office?"she asked him.

"Hiding, apparently."he said, his head bowed slightly.

"In my office?"she asked again.

"Well, I couldn't go sneaking into a stranger's office, could I?"he snapped at her.

"Is that the only reason?"she inquired once more, making her way to his side.

"I don't like to be questioned."he told her.

"Of course, you don't. The mystery surrounding you would disappear, should you answer any questions."

"I don't put an effort into seeming mysterious."Severus said. "That is your idea of me and I have done nothing to reinforce it."

"Let's stop playing with words, Severus. It's rather childish and I would hate to treat you like a child."she said playfully, mimicking his own tone when he'd said the same thing to her.

"Are you drunk?"he asked her, surprised by the way she was smiling to him.

"No."she shook her head and then, gently placed her forehead on his chest, making no other move to touch him in any other way. "I just missed you."

"Let's not throw caution to the wind, Granger."Severus said, pleased by the closeness of her body, making no move to touch her either but not exactly willing to break contact.

"Let's."Hermione said unpretentiously, surprising herself and raised her eyes to look into his.

"This isn't like you."He tried to listen to his mind screaming at him to be careful.

"Aren't you tired?"she asked him, her eyes full of pain. "Aren't you tired of holding back? I know I am! I know I should stop thinking about you but I can't bring myself to do it! And it's wearing me out." She stopped and took a deep breath. "Tell me this is wrong! Tell me to stop!"

Severus sighed. "This is wrong. You have to stop."he repeated, as ordered.

"I can't."Hermione whispered and allowed her hands to run up his chest, climb behind his neck and pull him just a little closer.

Severus kept his hands to his sides, thinking she would snap out of her romantic dream soon enough and pull herself away. But she didn't. "I do love you."she told him and he felt the last remnants of restrain slowly fade away.

"Hermione, you must stop this."he said again so they could both hear it. But Hermione gaped at him, dazed by the way he'd pronounced her name for the very first time. Crack, her heart went. Crack, crack, crack, falling apart at the seams, sucked into a whirlwind, a universe where no one existed in the world besides the two of them and she didn't have to hold back any longer. She knew it was an illusion but it felt so real! And she was afraid that the spell would be broken soon.

"This is your last chance to kiss me."she whispered, pleading and let one of her hands creep slowly on his jaw which clenched at her touch.

Severus knew how wrong the entire situation was. But she was whispering to him and her voice carried with it promises that he was sure neither of them could keep. He kept his hands where they were; he wouldn't claim something that could never be his.

"Severus? Did you hear me? This is your –our last chance!"her voice begged, on the verge of tears. "If you don't do it now..."she tried to go on but his lips crashed into hers and there was no need for words.

Hermione felt her body melt and her heart swell. She would later try to remember the details of that kiss but she'd be overwhelmed by emotion. She tried pulling his arms into an embrace and he refused wordlessly, never letting their mouths part. She realised her back was resting against the window and a slight chill run down her spine. His torso was pressed to hers but his hands wouldn't move from their place. She whimpered and much to her dissatisfaction, he pulled several steps away. There you go, Hermione, she thought. Spell broken.

"Don't go!"she said.

Severus remained silent, catching his breath and thinking of something to say that could clear the fog in his mind. Something to convince her that he should indeed go, leave the country as he'd originally planned, as far away as possible. It would be the smart thing to do but that kiss had reduced them both to driveling idiots, succumbing to their feelings without so much as a single thought of what the consequences of their action might be, so instead, he told her "I'm not going anywhere". A sigh of relief left her mouth and with that sound, Severus found himself forgetting all his previous reasoning, throwing caution to the wind, easily, as he strode to her, pulling her by the shoulders and indulging in his desire to claim her and kiss her, if only for one night.

* * *

><p>A small note flew to Ron as the crowd was being ushered back to the main hall in order to resume their dancing. Ron read it and it flew away again.<p>

"What was that?"Harry asked him.

"Oh, nothing. Hermione's got a bit of a headache and took off. She said we'd talk tomorrow."Ron shrugged and didn't think about it anymore.

**A/N: Oh, God... I'm sorry, Ron! (Did you like it?)**


	11. Chapter 11

**If Time Could Stop**

**Chapter 11**

Ron was becoming increasingly worried about Hermione's behaviour since the dance. She always seemed to be too busy to see him for more than fifteen minutes each time they'd met. She'd stopped having lunch with him during her breaks and maybe it was him being paranoid but she looked as if she was skipping meals on her own, as well. She had definitely lost weight, that much was obvious. He wondered if the wedding preparations left her so little time that she'd forget to eat. He had offered to help her and she had refused. She insisted that she was just fine, everything was going well and that as soon as she'd picked her dress, there would be nothing more to do. She had always smiled and behaved normally around him but something was bothering him. He even wondered if she had changed her mind about the wedding but she'd told him, no, of course not, really, how could he think that? So he let it go, for who could understand women anyway?

* * *

><p>Hermione kept cancelling her plans with Ron but that only made her feel worse. She told herself, the little indiscretion should be forgotten, like it never happened. She had simply kissed Severus Snape. It wasn't such a big deal, was it? She'd allowed herself one night free of guilt, one night when nobody had a hold on her, one night when Ron Weasley wasn't important. She'd lived in agony since then. Because she had acted like a complete moron, because Ron was important, extremely important and because she had dragged Severus into this, when all he had done was remind her how wrong the whole thing was. She continued blaming herself.<p>

* * *

><p>Severus made a deal with himself that no matter what his heart wanted, he would fully trust his brain from now on. There was no point in hoping things would change. Granger had made it perfectly clear, she would belong to Weasley for the rest of her life. That left no room for him. Maybe, at some point, further in the future, he would be able to be in the same room with her without having inappropriate thoughts. He didn't really hate Weasley; he just found him greatly annoying but that didn't mean he wanted to be the third person in that relationship. No doubt he could try but somehow, he was certain of his defeat.<p>

He hadn't made an effort to "run into" Granger in the weeks following the dance. And she hadn't sent for him either which Severus took as a sign that she was coming to her senses. About time too. He didn't know how much more of it he could take. "I don't regret it"she'd told him "but I am sorry." And he hadn't argued. He was feeling the exact same thing.

"Promise that you won't come to me! Promise!"she had begged.

He had simply snorted at that. What did she take him for? A needy, lovesick teenager? But the truth was, he had struggled to keep his promise. It was proving to be quite a challenge.

"I'm so sorry for having done this to you."she'd told him a few times, after she'd managed to pull away from him. She hadn't shed a single tear, as he might have expected; he respected her more for her lack of tears, he had to admit.

"You didn't exactly force me to participate, Granger."he'd said.

"Yes, I know. But you told me to stop so many times... You must think I'm such a floozy..."

"Is that all you're concerned about? My opinion of you?"he'd asked her.

"Among other things."she had replied.

"Rest assured, my respect for you has not decreased."

He'd said that indifferently but it had extremely satisfied Hermione.

"Thank you! Really, your words are such comfort to me."

"I didn't aim to comfort you, I was simply stating a fact. You have to stop being so melodramatic, Granger. It's boring."

"I will take your advice into consideration."she'd said with an amused smile.

"Shouldn't you be getting home?"he'd asked her, secretly hoping that she would say no.

"Do you want to be left alone?"

"Does it matter?"

"Shouldn't it?"

"Why should my desires influence your actions?"

"Can we stop answering questions with questions?"she'd huffed and crossed her arms in frustration.

"Quite right, you are."he'd agreed.

"I have a proposition..."she'd then said, hesitantly.

"Goodness gracious, Granger! Why do I feel terrified all of a sudden?"

"You can always decline."she had assured him but looking at her, he knew he couldn't deny her much. He'd motioned for her to go on.

"The night isn't over yet. We have one hour until sunrise. Do you suppose we could stay here, just until sunrise? You and me?"

"Don't you think that's rather greedy of you, Granger?"he'd sneered.

"That's beside the point."

"Fine."he'd said and she had walked back to his side, gracefully. "Please, don't ask me to watch the sun rise with you!"he had told her.

"I wouldn't do that. No more fooling around either."she'd assured him with a nod.

He had agreed silently.

It was after that hour had passed, with the both of them just exchanging glances, saying absolutely nothing, that she'd asked him to promise not to go to her again. Hermione Granger, you bloody fool, he had thought.

"I wish you all the best." Severus had mocked her and bowed.

"Oh, Severus..."she had said, her heart breaking. "I will never see you again, will I?"

"Don't be daft."he'd replied. "I'm sure you will find one way or another to bother me. In the distant future." He'd hoped she would take the hint.

"I will do my best."she had responded, blinding him with one of those magnificent, yet hateful, smiles. He'd thought it a good time to get out of there, as fast as his feet could carry him.

* * *

><p>It had taken Hermione a while to give into Ginny's request but it was done. Ginny would be the one in charge of the dress. Hermione had looked everywhere and found nothing she would like to wear on her wedding day. Frankly, she'd happily passed the task to her friend. Let someone else worry about the wedding for a while, she could use a break. Ginny had insisted for it to be a surprise and that caused Hermione to worry a little. What if she'd choose something abominable? But Ginny wouldn't do that. And even if she did, it wasn't something a little magic couldn't fix.<p>

Ron hadn't allowed her to see the suit he'd picked out.

"It's bad luck."he claimed.

"Ron, first of all, that is a Muggle superstition! And second, it's the groom who is not supposed to see the wedding gown, not the other way around!"she explained.

"Either way, you will have to wait, Hermione, or else you won't be as amazed by my elegance!"he said with a wink and she couldn't help but laugh.

"Aren't you getting a little full of yourself?"she asked playfully.

"Nothing wrong with that, is there?"

"We'll have to wait and see."

Ron's face became serious and he scratched the back of his head, like he always did whenever he was nervous about something.

"It's nice to see you're back to normal..."he told her.

"I told you I would be okay when I wouldn't have to worry about the dress."she lied.

"Yeah, you did."

"Stop troubling your mind with this nonsense, Ron. We're getting married in two days!"she smiled and pulled him into her arms.

"No cold feet, then?"he asked.

"Not mine. How about yours?" Hermione said and pinched his arm.

"You wish!"he replied.

**A/N: The next chapter will be the last. And it breaks my heart. **

**I hope you've enjoyed the story so far! :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Here it is! Behold, the last chapter! After this, I will be absent for about a month as I have exams coming up and I have to study really hard. But I will be back by the end of February, hopefully with a new story! So, let me know what you think of this, even if you don't like it, just be polite! See you in a month! :)  
><strong>

**If Time Could Stop**

**Chapter 12-Epilogue**

The invitation to the Granger- Weasley wedding had been sitting on the desk for several weeks. It was a funny piece of paper; funny, because Severus thought it shouldn't exist but nothing could be done to invalidate its existence. He had opened and read it once, ever the masochist and afterwards, he hadn't been able to even throw it away. He had left it there, glaring at it, reminding himself why it was that he and Granger couldn't be. At first, he'd cursed her -a million times- for daring to write his name on the envelope but deep inside, he knew she had hated every moment of it too. Every letter must have been a stab to her tender heart and that gave him some kind of pleasure, mixed with pain. He had decided that he would not attend. Of course he wouldn't! Had she really expected that of him? If she had, she was crazy, to say the least. He had sent a very unemotional letter to reply that, no, he wasn't going to make it and that was that. No congratulations, no wishes for a good life. Nothing.

And now, the night before her wedding, he was lying in bed, sleeping soundly. He had hoped for dreamless sleep but that was rather optimistic. He hadn't stopped dreaming about her all this time and he had woken up, more than once, feeling the dream had been real. This time, however, he was certain he was dreaming, not just because Granger was leaning carelessly against his body, in a public place, no less, but also because she was telling him of how she'd left Weasley, that useless git. Hermione Granger, the real Hermione Granger, would have never referred to Weasley as a git. Even if she had ever decided to leave him. So, she was there, talking about one thing or another, stealing kisses in between phrases and he was happy. Too happy, if such a thing could happen. And although Severus wasn't the cuddling type, in his dream he could be. With her. Only with her.

"Kiss me again!"the Hermione of his dream ordered and he complied. "We'll run away, Severus!"she said passionately. "We'll leave and nobody will be able to stop us! Just the two of us! The way it's supposed to be!"she exclaimed.

"Anything you want."he replied.

"We will never be apart again! Right?"she asked him.

"Right you are, Granger."he told her and then, she pulled out her wand, turned to him and... he woke up, startled.

Severus looked around the room frantically. She was nowhere to be seen, of course, how silly of him to believe that she might be connected to him somehow, that she'd felt his anguish and ran to him. No, that would never happen. Never. His eyes fell on a book resting lazily on a shelf. _Moste Potente Potions_. First edition. Suddenly, he knew what he had to do. He smiled, pleased with himself.

"I'm sure you won't be expecting that, Granger."he whispered.

* * *

><p>Hermione looked at her reflection in the mirror. She huffed once or twice and then she frowned. The dress wasn't all that bad. It was actually very pretty. It simply wasn't the perfect dress. Very close to perfect, true, but not perfect. She couldn't make any last minute changes to it though; Ginny had warned her that she'd be watching.<p>

"Alright!"Ginny exclaimed behind Hermione's back. "Don't you look lovely?"she said, admiring her choice.

"Yes, lovely."Hermione said. "Is Ron ready yet?"

"Of course he's ready! He's been ready for about an hour now! He's so nervous, it's hilarious, Hermione!"Ginny laughed.

"Great! Can I have fifteen more minutes, then?"she asked. "Fifteen minutes and then we can start." She couldn't wait to take her place next to Ron.

"I'll go tell him."her friend said and before she left the room, she added "You look great, Hermione! Really!"

Hermione smiled. She had been smiling quite a lot. She started checking her hair and her shoes and her jewelery when the crack of Apparition, announced someone standing right behind her. She looked into the mirror, only to find, alongside her own reflection, the one of Severus Snape. She turned and looked at him, her expression a mixture of excitement and awe... His face was emotionless.

"Granger."he said with a small bow of his head.

"Snape."she replied with yet another smile, mimicking his motion. "I thought you weren't coming."

"I don't plan on staying for the ceremony but...Not attending is hardly an excuse for not presenting you with a wedding gift, is it?"he said and handed her the book.

Hermione took it from him with a trembling hand.

"_Moste Potente Potions_? First edition? Oh my! You shouldn't have done that! It must be extremely valuable!"she exclaimed.

"I have read this book too many times. You might as well have it. I know of your love of books."

"Are you sure? I'm sure you've had it for many years-"

"Spare me the drama, Granger."he interrupted. "It's a gift. Simply, thank me and let's get it over with. Or don't thank me. It matters very little."

"Well, in that case, thank you very much! It means a lot to me!"she said and hugged the book tightly for a second, before placing it on a small coffee table and making sure it would be safe there. Then, she spun around and asked him "So? What do you think?".

"It's acceptable."he said strictly, feeling his heart ache.

"Really? Isn't it too much? I think I look like a big, fluffy, white cake!"

"The dress is fine, Granger. Leave it be." The dress was more than fine, of course. Severus couldn't tell her just how fine it was though.

"If you say so..."she replied, still smiling but then her face became serious. "It must be very hard for you. To be here, I mean."

"I'll be fine."he assured her but he was already feeling the first traces of pain threatening to tear him apart.

"I hope so." She paused and looked at him, noting down every detail of his face, for future reference. "You know I won't run away with you."she said after a short time.

He nodded once. "And you know I would never ask you to."

He wondered if that was even true but in his heart he knew it was. He wouldn't. Ever.

"You're a good man, Severus Snape."Hermione told him.

"Yes, yes, certainly."he said sarcastically.

"No, you are! Stop joking about it! You are a good and decent man. And I will always keep you in my heart."

"Let your heart be occupied by someone else, Granger. We've been through this."he said and walked to the window. He caught a glimpse of Ron's back, somewhere beyond the crowd and felt a stab of jealousy. "How long?"he asked.

"What do you mean?"Hermione asked back.

"How long until you have to go out there." He looked at her and pointed carelessly out the window.

Hermione looked at the clock. "About five minutes."she told him.

"There's always too little time, right, Granger?"

"If only we could stop it."she replied.

What would she have done, if time could be stopped at that very moment? What would he have done? He was too old to believe in fairy tales. This... relationship was doomed from the start. It wouldn't do him any good to think about the "what ifs" and the "maybes". It was over. She was going to marry the redheaded idiot and he was going to be left alone.

"Let me tell you this, then, before we run out of time."he said and held her hand firmly in his, as if they were old friends, meeting again after many years. "You will make that Weasley a very happy man. I have no doubt he will do the same for you. And it's my deepest and more sincere wish that you become happy, Granger. You deserve it."he concluded and released her hand.

"I wish the same to you."she told him and caressed his cheek.

She didn't feel burning at the touch. She knew she was making the right choice, for all of them. After all, one can love many people but only give away their heart to one person. And for her, that person was Ron Weasley.

"Aren't we admirable, behaving like adults?"Hermione said and pulled away because her eyes were watering.

"Finally."Severus commented.

"Better late than never, I guess."

"Your five minutes are up, Granger."he said, nodding towards the clock.

"I'd better get going."she she was at the door, she stopped and looked at him, one last time. "Severus..."

Severus bowed his head. "No words need be said."And with that, she left.

But he couldn't leave just yet, he thought. He followed her with his gaze. He would Disapparate, in a moment. He simply had to torture himself a little while longer. He watched as Hermione made her way to Ronald Weasley, that lucky bastard. He watched her walk gracefully and stand by his side, a wide smile on her beautiful face. Weasley touched her hand briefly and her whole face lit up. The pain cut through Severus like a knife as he thought that she didn't look like a big, fluffy, white cake at all. No. To him, she looked more like a swan...

THE END


End file.
